,,AM;G ,,! ,,MISS+

              ,,DAN ,,*AON


              ,PUBLI%$ BY
     ,BALLANT9E ,BOOKS1 ,NEW ,YORK
       ,COPY"R #BJJA 0,DAN ,*AON
  ,FUR!R REPRODUC;N OR 4TRIBU;N 9 O!R
  ?AN A SPECIALIZ$ =MAT IS PROHIBIT$4

      ,TRANSCRIB$ 9 ,5GLI% ,BRL BY
    ,M>IAN ,HAYES1 ,MIKE ,CAVANAU<1
     ,T]RY ,DAVIS1 & ,NAD9E ,BU/ON
          ,"EGRE5 ,BRL ,S]VICE
           ,S1TTLE1 ,WA%+TON

             ,9 #D ,VOLUMES
               ,VOLUME #B
        ,PAGES ;I-;IV & #AJI-BAJ

          ,"U ! ,SPONSOR%IP (
  ,WA%+TON ,TALK+ ,BOOK & ,BRL ,LIBR>Y
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                 #BJJC
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                ,,3T5TS             ;III

                                   ,PAGE
,PRODIGAL """"""""""""""""""""""""" #AJI
,PASS5G]S1 ,REMA9 ,CALM """"""""""" #ABI
,! ,ILLU/RAT$ ,5CYCLOP$IA (!
  ,ANIMAL ,K+DOM """""""""""""""""" #AFC
,AM;G ! ,MISS+ """""""""""""""""""" #AGC

















                                     ;IV
























               ,,PRODIGAL           #AJI

  ,M9E IS ! TYPICAL /ORY3 ,I US$ 6DE-
SPISE MY "F1 & N[ T HE IS D1D ,I FEEL
BAD AB DESPIS+ HM4 ,"!'S N M* M 6SAY AB
T4
  ,:5 ,I 0 "Y1 ,I US$ 6ID5TIFY ) ^? PRE-
COCI\SLY P]CEPTIVE * N>RATORS "O F9DS 9
BOOKS4 ,Y "K ! TYPE4 ,!Y ALW H BIG D>K
EYES4 ,!Y OBS]VE POETIC DETAILS1 CLE>-
SI<T$1 V S5SITIVE3 ! "F'S COLOGNE-SWEET
SMELL1 8 L+]+ BR1? ( BE] & CIG>ETTES1 8
H&S L ----4 ,(T5 F>M ANIMALS >E META-
PHORIC,Y 9VOK$1 & WE SEE ! DAD 9VOLV$ 9
"S "W--HUN*$ OV] ! GAP+ M\? (A C>1
/RAI<T5+ ! KNOT 9 8 SALESMAN'S TIE1
PULL+ HMF 96! CAB ( 8 SEMI-TRUCK1 ON 8
H&S & KNEES AM;G ! ROSEBU%ES4 ,WE'LL SEE
A :OLE MAP ( 8 WA/$1 PA!TIC LIFE 9 !
SQU1L ( 8 WORN-\ BRAKES1 9 ! WISP+
SMOKE/ACKS (! FACTORY ": HE "WS1 9 ! A*+
IMAGE ( HM RIS+ 2F DAWN 6TURN UP ! !RMO-
/AT4 ,! MOM W PE] F 2H A CURTA9 Z HE
DRIVES AWAY4 ,H] H&S TREM# Z %E FOLDS
CLO!S1 WA%ES DI%ES1 MAKES Y A S&WI*4
,"S?+ Y DON'T Q "U/& IS ALW GO+     #AAJ
ON1 & Y PRESS CLOSE 6! BA?ROOM DOOR %E
IS LOCK$ 2H4 ,Y'LL PROBABLY HE> H] WEEP-
+4

  ,N[ T ,I H *N ( MY [N1 ? BO!RS ME4 ,?
TYPE ( KID4 ,"S"TS1 :5 ,I FEEL DEPRESS$
& />E \ ! W9D[ :ILE MY KIDS PE/] ME =
ATT5;N1 OR :5 ,I LOSE MY TEMP] & ?R[ A
PLATE OR :AT"E1 OR :5 ,I'M 9 A GD MOOD &
,I'M S++ "S S;G F ! RADIO TOO L\DLY &
TOO (F-KEY1 ,I ?9K ( T G5TLE1 DEWY-EY$
F/ P]SON N>RATOR & X MAKES MY SK9 CRAWL4
,X DOESN'T MATT] :AT Y D4 ,9 ! 5D1 Y >E
GO+ 6BE JUDG$1 & ALL ! "TS T Y'RE N AT
YR MO/ DIGNIFI$ >E ! "OS T W 2 RECALL$ 9
ALL _! VIVID1 HE>TBR1K+ DETAIL4 ,& !N (
C\RSE ^! ?+S W 2 4TORT$ & EXA7]AT$ & RE-
PLAY$ OV] & OV]1 UNTIL EV5TU,Y !Y TURN
96! ESS;E ( Y3 YR C>TOON4

  ,MY "F IS A GD EXAMPLE4 ,MY "F US$ TO
:I/LE M]RY LL TUNES :5 HE 0 HAPPY & S(T1
M9OR KEY "OS :5 HE 0 SAD4 ,I C'T REMEMB]
:5 EXACTLY ? 2GAN 6ANNOY ME1 B 0! "T ,I
0 ELEV5 OR TWELVE1 ,I CD D A        #AAA
PRETTY AMAZ+ P>ODY ( X4 ,I'D SEE HM -+1
LOP+ AL;G ) 8 H&S 2H 8 BACK & 8 EYES
D[NCA/1 :I/L+ "S DIRGE1 & ,I CD B>ELY
3TA9 MY PRIVATE LAU<T]4
  ,ONCE1 :5 HE 0 VISIT+1 HE 2GAN 6:I/LE
9 AN ELEVATOR1 -PLETELY OBLIVI\S (! OB-
VI\S CODES ( SIL;E & ANONYM;Y T GOV]N
C]TA9 PUBLIC PLACES4 ,! SECOND ! DOORS
SLID %UT1 HE ABRUPTLY PUCK]$ 8 LIPS1 L A
*A/E KISS1 & 2GAN 6TRILL1 FILL+ ! AIR )
MELODY1 A35T+ ! TUNE ) GRACE NOTES &A
/RANGE1 MELODRAMATIC VIBRATO AT ! CLI-
MACTIC "PS1 UNTIL "EY"O NE>BY 0 TURN$ TO
/"O ) HORROR & EMB>RASS;T1 />+ /RAI<T
AH1D & PRET5D+ !Y CDN'T HE> X4
  ,HE 0 ON 8 LA/ LEGS 0T PO9T--8LA/
LEGS10 HE SD1 Z IF HE _H M ?AN "O PAIR4
,I DIDN'T 2LIEVE HM AT ! "T1 9 "P 2C ^?
^WS SEEM$ S TRITE & GO(Y4 ,I FELT T ANY
P]SON RE,Y FAC+ D1? WD 3CV ( X 9 M* GR&]
T]MS4 ,EV5 MY "F4

  ,"O "T MY "F HIT MY "M4 ,I WI% Y CD'VE
SE5 8 FACE3 ! B>$ TEE? & BULG$ EYES1 !
MOTTL$ R$;S (! *EEKS & =EH1D1 !     #AAB
SK9 SEEM+ 6%9E L A LACQU]$ SURFACE4 ,IF
"S"O _H BE5 "! 6TAKE A PHOTOGRAPH1 TO
FREEZE ! EXPRES.N 9 ! MO;T 2F 8 H& LUR*$
UP 6GRAB MY MOM 0! NECK1 9 A PURELY OB-
JECTIVE PICTURE1 Y WD N 2 A# 6ID5TIFY !
EMO;N 9 T LOOK Z RAGE4 ,Y MI<T ASSUME T
X 0 PA9 OR T]ROR4 ,"!'S A GRT PHOTO F !
,VIETNAM W>--Y "K ! "O1 (! GUY SCR1M+ Z
HE'S %OT "? ! H1D4 ,T'S :AT MY DAD LOOK$
L AT T MO;T4
  ,I N"E SAW HM LOOK L T1 2F OR AF4 ,B
IF ,I CLOSE MY EYES ,I C SEE T FACE Z
CLE>LY Z ,I C PICTURE ! S*OOL PORTRAITS
( MY *N ON ! C(FEE TA#1 OR ! BLUE ,LE-
,SABRE T IS WAIT+ = ME 9 ! G>AGE1 OR MY
F/ & ONLY DOG1 ,LUCKY1 :O1 ON ! NI<T (
MY P>5TS' FI<T LAY "U ! TA# 9 ! KIT*51 8
L;G SN\T RE/+ W>ILY ON 8 PAWS4
  ,I'M SURE T MY "F N"E R1LIZ$ H[ EASILY
,I CD GRAFT T FACE OV] 8 G5TLE "O1 H[ M*
M EASILY ,I CD 3JURE UP T IMAGE 9/1D (
"S ?"\ ( 8 GD QUALITIES4 ,X PROBABLY WD
H MADE HM CRY4 ,HE WEPT EASILY 9 8 LA/
YE>S4 ,I RECALL SEE+ HM SITT+ 9 8 EASY
*AIR1 T\*+ 8 F+]S 6HIS MOI/ EYES    #AAC
Z HE WAT*$ A NEWS SPECIAL AB POOR OR-
PHANS 9 ,ROMANIA4 ,:5 HE & MY "M _H _!
FIFTIE? W$D+ ANNIV]S>Y1 & HE /OOD UP TO
MAKE A SPEE*1 8 VOICE BROKE4 8,? WOMAN10
HE SD1 & HE *OK$ BACK A SOB4 8,? WOMAN
IS ! F/ & ONLY LOVE ( MY LIFE40
  ,I DON'T "K4 ,X'S H>D 6DECIDE IF ! WA-
V] 9 8 VOICE 0 AU!NTIC OR N4 ,:O "KS :AT
HE 0 RE,Y ?9K+ Z HE SPOKE1 Z HE /OOD "!
) MY "M B1M+1 GLI/5+-EY$1 UP AT HM--:E!R
T /RANGL$ 8LOVE ( MY LIFE0 0 T+$ ) RE-
GRET1 SELF-P;Y1 :E!R X 0 2C HE 0 /&+ 9
FRONT ( ALL ^? P :O KNEW T HE & MY MOM
_HN'T _H ! MO/ PL1SANT ( LIVES TGR4 ,B X
AL MI<T 2 T HE SD X ) TRUE1 H"O/ FEEL+4
,9 ! 5D1 "! PROBABLY ISN'T M* DI6];E 2T
2+ 9 LOVE & ACT+ L Y'RE 9 LOVE4
  ,I DON'T M1N ? Z A PUT-D[N EI4 ,I RE,Y
DON'T 2LIEVE T X'S POSSI# 6BE 9 LOVE ALL
(! "T1 ANY M ?AN X'S POSSI# 6ALW 2 GD4
,S Y M/ G )! NEXT BE/ ?+4 ,Y TRY 6PRE-
T5D4
  ,"! >E "TS :5 ,I WD D ANY?+ 6BE A GD
P]SON4 ,B ,I'M N4 ,DEEP D[N1 MO/ (! "T1
,I'M N4 ,:AT C Y D8 ,Y H A FLA% (   #AAD
GD;S & Y TRY 6HOLD ON 6X1 RIDE X = ALL
X'S WOR?4
  ,"! 0 ? "O "T T MY KIDS & ,I 7 PLAY+ )
CLAY1 ! ?REE ( U TGR4 ,I DON'T "K :Y ?
MO;T 0 SPECIAL1 B X WAS4 ,WE 7 ALL QUI-
ET1 3C5TRAT$ ON \R "W1 \R F+]S KN1D+ &
%AP+4 ,WE 7 MAK+ AN ELEPHANT1 & ,I RE-
MEMB] H[ EXCIT$ !Y 7 :5 ,I ROLL$ \ XS
TRUNK1 A C>E;L SNAKE 2T MY PALM &! SUR-
FACE (! TA#4 ,MY "YE/ 0 AB ?REE AT ! "T1
& ,I REMEMB] H[ HE RE/$ 8 *EEK AG/ MY
>M1 WAT*+ ME4 ,I REMEMB] H[ S(T & W>M T
*EEK FELT4 ,! OLD] "O 0 P.D+ \ A FLAP =!
E>1 & ,I C RECALL MY VOICE 2+ G5TLE &
P]FECT :5 ,I TOLD HM H[ GRT X WAS4 ,HE
GAVE X 6ME2 ,I PRESS$ X 6! ELEPHANT'S
H1D4
  ,B X DIDN'T LA/ = L;G1 T MO;T4 ,I AM
SURE T NEI ( !M REMEMB] X Z ,I D1 =
PRETTY SOON !Y />T$ >GU+1 :9+ AB :O _H M
CLAY & S ON4 ,X 0 A JOLT2 ,I CD ACTU,Y
FEEL ! GD;S MOV+ \ ( ME1 ! WAY Y C FEEL
BLOOD MOV+ :5 Y BLU% OR GR[ PALE4 8,-E
ON1 GUYS10 ,I SD1 8LET'S N FI<T4 ,? IS
FUN1 ISN'T X8 ,LET'S H FUN40 ,B     #AAE
MY G5TLE VOICE 0 J AN IMIT,N1 ,I 0 MIM-
ICK+ ! T"O ( ^? 5LI<T5$ P>5TS Y SEE "S-
"TS1 ! K9D :O N"E SEEM 6RAISE _! VOICE
2Y ! /1DY MONOT"O ( K9D PATI;E1 L ! COM-
PUT] 9 T MOVIE ..#BJJA3 ,A ,SPACE .,OD-
YSSEY4
  ,B EV5 P>5TS L T WON'T 2 =GIV51 Y "K4
,MY WIFE'S FR IS A PSY*OLOGI/1 & %E SP5T
H] LIFE EXPLA9+ ?+S 9 ! MO/ CALM1 R1SON-
A# VOICE Y C IMAG9E4 ,%E N"E RAIS$ H]
VOICE4 ,EV5 :5 H] KID 0 TWO YE>S OLD1 %E
0 \ "! SAY+ ?+S L1 8,PL1SE DON'T RUN 9 !
/REET1 2C1 EV5 ?\< Y'RE EXCIT$ & X'S H>D
6PAY ATT5;N1 "S P DRIVE _! C>S TOO FA/ &
!Y MI<T N SEE Y10 ET CET]A4 ,N[1 NATU-
R,Y1 H] ADULT SON WON'T TALK 6H]4 ,AT
ALL4 ,HE F9DS H] UNBE>ABLY MANIPULATIVE4
,REPRESSIVE4 ,REPULSIVE4 ,GD ^WS L T4
  ,I RECALL :5 MY WIFE'S FR F/ TOLD U AB
?4 ,H[ OLD 0 ,I8 ,TW5TY-?REE OR TW5TY-
F\R MAYBE1 &! SON MI<T H BE5 TW5TY4 ,I 0
SITT+ AT ! KIT*5 TA# ACR F ? OLD1 H1VY1
SMOO?-TALK+ GAL1 ! L1D] ( "S WOM5'S GR\P
?+ MY WIFE W5T TO1 & ,I 0 HOLD+ MY
SWEET1 SLEEP+ BABY 9 MY >MS4 ,I C   #AAF
RECALL GIV+ H] T /]N1 BOR$ />E ,I US$ TO
RES]VE = P ,I ?"\ ( Z ADULTS4 ,%E 0 ALM
MY "F'S AGE1 & H] ANGRY SON 0 ONLY A FEW
YE>S "Y] ?AN ,I4 ,%E 0 A FAILURE1 ,I ?"\
!N4 ,I />$ D[N AT MY SLEEP+ BABY'S FACE1
! L;G-LA%$ EYES1 ! S(TLY "P$ LIPS T MOV$
SLI<TLY1 Z IF HE DR1M$ ( NURS+1 & ,I
?"\3 ,T W N"E HAPP5 6ME4 ,I W N"E LET !M
HATE ME4

  ,N[1 Z !Y >E GR[+ OLD]1 ,I AM AW>E T
HATR$ IS A DEF9ITE POSSIBIL;Y AT ! 5D (!
L;G TUNNEL ( P>5THOOD1 & ,I SUSPECT T "!
IS LL "O C D AB X4
  ,N L;G AGO1 :5 ,I 9SI/$ T HE -E D[N TO
D9N]1 MY "YE/ SON CALL$ ME A 8/UPID IDI-
OT40 ,I DID N SPANK HM1 OR WA% 8 M\? \ )
SOAP1 Z MY [N "F MI<T H D"O2 ,I SIMPLY
SET HM UP ON ! 8"T-\0 /OOL--\R PREF]R$
ME?OD ( PUNI%;T--& SCOLD$ HM :ILE HE
KICK$ 8 LEGS & SANG DEFIANTLY4 ,8 EYES
SP>K$ AT ME1 & ,I CD CLE>LY SEE ! OP5+ (
A VORTEX ,I WD EV5TU,Y 2 SUCK$ 9TO1 AG/
MY W4
  ,ONCE1 ,I RECALL1 :5 MY OLDE/     #AAG
SON 0 AB FIVE YE>S OLD1 HE ASK$ ME IF HE
CD H MY SKELETON :5 ,I 0 D1D4 ,HE TOLD
ME T :5 HE 0 GR[N UP1 HE WANT$ 6[N A
HAUNT$ H\SE4 ,HE WD COV] MY REMA9S )
SPID] WEBS & *>GE P FIVE DOLL>S 6LOOK AT
!M4
  8,SURE10 ,I SD4 8,:AT"E40 ,I EV5
SMIL$1 Z IF X 7 CUTE4 ,I DID N ACT Z IF
,I 0 (F5D$4 ,B ! TRU? IS1 MY ?ROAT TI<T-
5$4 ,Y'LL 2 SORRY1 ,I WANT$ 6SAY4 ,Y'LL
2 SORRY :5 ,I'M G"O6

  ,D Y "K H[ SORRY ,I WAS8 ,Y %D H SE5
ME AT MY "F'S FUN]AL4 ,I LOOK BACK ON ?
) "S EMB>RASS;T1 2C ,I TRULY LO/ 3TROL4
,I WAIL$ & TORE AT MY HAIR4 ,MY *N MAY H
BE5 TOO "Y 6REMEMB] SEE+ ?4
  ,:5 MY GR&"F DI$1 MY "F WEPT SIL5TLY4
,TE>S RAN \ ( 8 NOSE1 & ,I REMEMB] T X
TOOK ME A L;G "T 6FIGURE \ HE DIDN'T
SIMPLY H A COLD4 ,AT ! FUN]AL1 HE />$
/RAI<T AH1D1 RIGID1 ALM GL>+1 8 JAW SET4
  ,"O "T1 ,I REMEMB]1 WE 7 AT ! C.TY
FAIR4 ,WE 7 WALK+ BACK 6\R C> "? ! P>K+
LOT1 :5 A GR\P ( OLD] TE5AG]S BE-   #AAH
GAN 6MAKE FUN ( U4 ,? 0 9 ! E>LY SEV5-
TIES1 &! TE5S 7 :AT WE !N CALL$ 8HIP-
PIES0--%A7Y1 RA7$LY DRESS$1 FULL ( SE-
CRETS4 ,Z A *1 ,I 0 W>N$ 6/AY AWAY F !M1
Z !Y MI<T KIDNAP ME 9 "O ( _! ,VOLKSWAG5
VANS & =CE ME 6SMOKE M>IJUANA4
  ,9 ANY CASE1 !Y 7 AMUS$ 0U4 ,WE M/ H
LOOK$ RIDICUL\SLY CORNY 6!M1 & ,I REMEM-
B] "O ( !M CALL+ \1 8,LOOK6 ,"H -ES ,"M1
,"F1 &! ,*N60 ,&! O!RS JO9$ IN3 8,HELLO1
,"M6 ,HELLO1 ,"F6 ,HELLO1 LL ,W,Y60
  ,MY "F ACT$ Z IF !Y W]5'T "!1 ?\< 8
FACE 2CAME /IFF & 8 EYES FIX$ H>%LY ON
"S PO9T 9 ! 4T.E4 ,HE J KEPT PLO4+ =W>D1
Z IF HE CDN'T HE> !M4 ,T 0 ! LOOK1 ,I
?"\1 T HE _H AT ! FUN]AL4
  ,! "TS 9 MY *ILDHOOD T ,I REMEMB] SEE+
HM CRY1 !Y 7 ALW 2C ( MUSIC4 ,HE 0 FRE-
QU5TLY BR"\ 6TE>S 0"S OLD1 UNBE>ABLY S5-
TI;TAL S;G4 ,I REMEMB] ? "O CALL$ 8,SC>-
LET ,RI2ONS10 & ANO!R T W5T3

,O MY ,PAPA6
,6ME HE 0 S WOND];L6
,O MY ,PAPA6                        #AAI
,6ME HE 0 S GD6

,? S;G1 9 "PICUL>1 US$ 6DRIVE ME CRAZY1
& :5 HE WD PLAY X ,I WD L1VE ! ROOM1 IF
POSSI#4 ,X WASN'T ONLY 2C (! MAUDL9
TREMOR 9 ! S+]'S VOICE1 OR 2C ( MY "F'S
SOLEMN CANONIZ+ ( MY GR&"F1 A MAN :O _H
ONCE BURN$ MY "F'S >M )A R$-HOT =K1 L1V+
A SC> : / REMA9$4 78,X TAU<T ME A LES-
SON10 MY "F SD4 ,HE 0 2+ PUNI%$ = HAV+
CRUELLY BURN$ 8 "Y] SI/] )A MAT*47
  ,X WASN'T ! HYPOCRISY T REPELL$ ME4 ,X
0 SIMPLY T ,I "U/OOD ! IMPLIC,NS (! L9E3
8,6ME1 HE 0 S WOND];L40 ,0: ! S+] M1NT1
8,NO MATT] :AT1 MY "F SEEM$ WOND];L TO
ME40 ,& ,I KNEW T MY "F WASN'T WEEP+ 2C
HE 0 EXT5D+ ? GRACE 6HIS [N "F4 ,NO3 ,HE
0 WEEP+ 2C HE 0 WI%+ X = HMF4 ,HE HOP$ T
,I WD "S"D S+ 8,O ,MY ,PAPA60 ,HE CRI$ =
HMF1 & EA* TE> SD1 8,"S"D Y W LOVE ME
UNCONDI;N,Y4 ,"S"D Y W =GIVE ME4 ,"S"D Y
W 2 SORRY40
  ,: 0 "S?+ ,I DIDN'T WANT 6HE> AT ! "T4

                                    #ABJ
  ,I'VE SU6]$ A LL4 ,AL;G ) 8 S5TI;TAL
SIDE CAME A NA/Y TEMP]4 ,I GOT MY %>E (
:AT MY "F CALL$ 8LICK+S10 A T]M :1 EV5 9
! EXTREM;Y ( MY PUNI%;T1 WD CAUSE ME TO
SMIRK 96MY H&4 ,I 0 B1T5 )A WIRE BRU%1 A
BELT1 A L5G? ( HOSE4 ,& ,I 0 ! VICTIM (
V]BAL & EMO;NAL ABUSE4 ,I DON'T "K :E!R
,I M5;N$ ? OR N B ONCE MY "F HIT MY "M4
,I /OOD 0WAT*+4
  ,N[A"DS1 ,I MEET A LOT ( P :O 7 N"E
B1T5 :5 !Y 7 *N4 ,!Y N"E WIT;S$ ANY SORT
( VIOL;E 9 ! HOME &! IDEA ( /RIK+ A * IS
S AB]RANT 6!M T ,I 5JOY %OCK+ !M ) TALES
( MY ABUSE--MO/ ( : >E Q TRUE4
  ,MY "F WD H BE5 J Z \TRAG$ 6HE> (A P>-
5T :O .DIDN'T USE CORPORAL PUNI%;T4 ,Y
CDN'T RE,Y R1SON )A *1 HE WD H SD1 B Y
_H 6MAKE SURE !Y OBEY$4 ,!Y _H 6LE>N TO
RESPECT 2F !Y LE>N$ 6?9K4 ,! IDEA (A _W
FILL$ ) UNSPANK$ *N WD H MADE HM FR[N
GRIMLY4 ,= :AT WD 2COME ( SOCIETY1 ONCE
^! *N GREW UP8 ,! *N WD 2 SPOIL$1 &! _W
WD 2 FILL$ ) RUDE1 4RESPECT;L1 4H"O/1
%IFT.S ADULTS4
  ,HE WORRI$ AB ME 2+ SPOIL$4 ,BY   #ABA
8SPOIL$10 HE DIDN'T M1N :AT MY "M M1NS
:5 %E SAYS T %E C H>DLY WAIT 6SEE H]
GR&*N AT ,*RI/MAS"T4 8,I'LL SPOIL !M
ROTT510 %E SAYS DEVILI%LY1 & ,I SAY1
8,OH1 !Y'RE ALR S SPOIL$ X'S N FUNNY40
,& WE LAU<4
  ,6MY "F1 ! ^W / RETA9$ A L>GE "P ( XS
OLD]1 M S]I\S 3NOT,NS3 8,SPOIL$0 M1NT
8RU9$10 &! ACT ( .SPOIL+ _H FLICK]S ( XS
>*AIC M1N+--6PILLAGE1 6PL"U4 ,9 MY "F'S
E/IM,N1 A MAN :O SPOIL$ 8 *N 0 RO2+ !M1
=A SPOIL$ * WD N"E 2 CAPA# (! HI<] EMO-
;NS3 LOVE1 PATRIOTISM1 SELF-SACRIFICE1
HONOR1 DUTY4 ,?\< HE WEPT :5 ! "F MADE !
SON %OOT ! PET DE] 9 .,! .,YE>L+1 HE
FELT T ! "F DID ! "R ?+4 ,WE GOT 96A
H1T$ >GU;T ? "O NI<T AB A YE> 2F HE DI$4
8,X _H 6BE D"O60 MY "F _H 9SI/$1 & 8
VOICE ROSE1 ALM CRACK+ ) EMO;N4 8,T'S H[
X 0 BACK !N1 DAMN X60
  8,WELL1 D Y "K H[ X IS N[80 ,I SD--,I
IMMLY SAW ! OP5+ ,I'D BE5 WAIT+ YE>S =1
MY *.E 6$UCATE HM4 8,D Y "K :AT WD HAPP5
6A MAN :O BURN$ 8 * )A R$-HOT =K8 ,HE WD
2 JAIL$ & 8 *N WD 2 TAK5 0!         #ABB
/ATE60
  ,MY "F CD N HELP B LOOK AT 8 SC>--!
TATTOO ( 8 "F T HE WD / 2 WE>+ Z HE LAY
9 8 CASKET4
  7,I SAW X "!--,I PU%$ UP ! SLEEVE ( 8
JACKET1 SMOO?+ MY F+]S OV] T PAP]-DRY
CORPSE SK91 & "! X WAS4 ,I T\*$ ! SC>1 &
T 0 ! LA/ "T ,I T\*$ MY "F47
  ,MY "F />$ AT ! F\R SMOO? L9ES ! =K _H
LEFT J ABV ! WRI/B& ( 8 WAT*4 8,D Y ?9K
MY DAD LOV$ ME ANY LESS ?AN Y LOVE YR
KIDS80 HE SD4 8,IS T :AT Y ?9K80
  ,& WE 7 BO? SIL5T4

  ,I DON'T "K ! ANSW]1 EV5 N[4 ,MAYBE
LOVE1 L SU6]+1 IS RELATIVE4 ,MY WIFE'S
PSY*OLOGI/ FR ONCE TOLD ME1 JUDG;T,Y1 T
S>CASM IS M DAMAG+ 6A *'S _S ?AN A SLAP
ACR ! FACE4 ,EM]SON ONCE SD T ! CIVILIZ$
P]SON ACTU,Y SU6]S M ?AN ^? PRIMITIVE P
:O >E 9UR$ 6H>D%IP 2C ! G5TEEL P]SON IS
M ACUTELY AW>E ( PA94 ,I US$ 6CALL ?
,EM]SON'S ,PR9CESS &! ,PEA ,!ORY1 B MAY-
BE X'S TRUE4 ,WE ALL REQUIRE A C]TA9
AM.T ( PA9 6JU/IFY \RVS LAT]1 &     #ABC
IF WE >5'T LUCKY 5 6H P>5TS :O B1T U &
=CE U 6%OOT \R 2LOV$ PETS1 ! /AB ( AN
UNK9D ^W OR A NEGLECT;L %RUG (! %\LD]S W
D J Z WELL4
  ,/1 "S"TS :5 ,I HE> ! /ORIES ( O!R P1
,I FEEL A LL A%AM$ = -PLA9+4 ,I ONCE
KNEW A GIRL ^: "F RAP$ H]1 REGUL>LY1 :5
%E 0 2T ! AGES ( TWO & SIX4 ,ANO!R ( MY
FRS1 A GUY F ,CAMBODIA1 LO/ 8 "M & F\R
BRO!RS 6! ,KHM] ,R\GE2 8 [N "F 9=M$ ON
!M4 ,LI/5+ 6S* /UFF1 ,I FEEL L AN ANO-
REXIC 9 A C.TRY ( />V+ P4 ,:Y 0 ,I S AN-
GRY AT MY "F8 ,:AT'S ! PO9T ( MY COM-
PLA9T8 ,I'VE SU6]$ V LL1 RELATIVELY
SP1K+1 S :Y D ,I FEEL S BAD1 S MAUDL98
  ,I'M N EV5 SURE ,I'M GO+ 6DIE "R AWAY4
,I MI<T EASILY--#GE P]C5T *.E--RECOV]4
,AC 6! BOOKS1 8! FIVE-YE> SURVIVAL RATE
= PATI5TS ) LOCALIZ$ 41SE IS #GE P]C5T40
,B ,I CD LIVE TW5TY M YE>S4 ,OR FIFTY6
,:AT'S ! PO9T 9 EV5 WOND]+8

  ,T'S :AT MY "F US$ 6SAY :5 ,I ASK$ HM
AB D1?3 ,"!'S NO PO9T 9 WOND]+1 9 WORRY+
AB X4 ,X W -E 6ALL ( U1 SOON] OR    #ABD
LAT]1 HE SD1 V SOLEMN & SAGELIKE1 ?\< ,I
0 ?9K+1 8,DUH--,I ."K T40 ,Y CD GET HIT
0A TRUCK TM1 HE 3T9U$1 & ,I SORT ( %UT
HM (F AF T1 8 ?"\;L DRON+4 ,:Y _H ,I EV5
BO!R$ 6ASK8
  ,ACTU,Y1 ,I D REMEMB] "O O!R ?+ HE SD
--?\< :E!R HE SD X T "T OR ANO!R ,I C'T
RECALL4
  8,\R *N RELIVE \R LIVES = U10 HE SD4
8,T'S ! ONLY K9D ( AFLIFE ,I 2LIEVE IN1
J T WE LIVE ON "? \R *N4 ,I DON'T "K
:E!R T MAKES ANY S5SE4 ,X PROBABLY
DOESN'T N[1 B X W4 ,Y TRY DI6]5T ?+S1 Y
MAKE DI6]5T *OICES1 B X'S / ALL ! SAME
P]SON4 ,Y4 ,ME4 ,YR GR&PA4 ,WE GET MO/LY
! SAME RAW MAT]IAL1 J RECYCL$4 ,WE'RE M
ALIKE ?AN DI6]5T1 Y "K40
  ,AT ! "T1 ! ?"\ SEEM$ RIDICUL\S4 ,I'M
N Y1 ,I ?"\4 ,I KNEW =A FACT T ,I 0 M*
SM>T] & M CAPA# ?AN HE'D "E BE4

  ,I WOND] H[ MY [N *N WD REACT IF ,I
TOLD !M MY "F'S !ORY4 ,I D\BT T X WD
MAKE ANY M S5SE 6!M ?AN X DID 6ME1 ?\<
!Y >E N OLD 5 YET 6BE REPULS$ 0!    #ABE
IDEA1 ,I DON'T ?9K4
  ,/1 X'S H>D 6GUESS :AT !Y IMAG9E ,I
AM4 ,I D\BT T !Y ?9K ( X M*2 ,I AM
8,DAD10 T'S ALL4 ,X'S /RANGE H[ EASILY
WE FALL 96^? ROLES--! =M-FITT+ P]SONALI-
TIES T MY *N ?9K ( Z 8,MOM0 & 8,DAD40 ,Z
!Y'VE GR[N1 WE H 9CR1S+LY GIV5 OV] PIEC-
ES ( \R LIVES 6^! C>ICATURES1 UNTIL !
8,DAD0 "P ( ME CA/S A %AD[ OV] :AT ,I
?9K ( Z MY 8R1L0 SELF4 ,I FEEL L AN OLD
SOAP OP]A ACTOR :O1 AF YE>S ( PLAY+ !
SAME "P1 2G9S 6FEEL ! "* TAK+ ON A PRES-
;E 9 8 S\L4 ,MY WIFE & ,I H N YET TAK5
6CALL+ "O ANO!R ,MOM & ,DAD1 Z MY P>5TS
US$ TO1 B M* (! "T1 ? IS H[ WE ?9K ( "O
ANO!R4 ,WE >E ALR LO/1 EV5 6\RVS4 ,WE
SLIP HELP.SLY 96P>ODY4
  ,"! IS NO WAY = MY SONS 6"K ?1 NO POS-
SI# WAY4 ,!Y DON'T EV5 RE,Y 2LIEVE T !
_W EXI/$ 2F !Y 7 BORN4 ,!Y "K X 9TELLEC-
TU,Y1 ( C\RSE1 B AT ! SAME "T X'S Z UN-
FA?OMA# Z 9F9;Y1 OR Z]O4
  ,I />T MY *EMO!RAPY TM1 & !Y DON'T "K
T EI4 ,!Y "K T ,I AM GO+ 6! HOSPITAL1 B
V LL ELSE4 ,WE H DECID$1 MY WIFE    #ABF
& ,I1 T X WD 2 TOO M* = !M 6H&LE4 ,& S
!Y G ON ) _! "EY"D LIVES3 PLAY+ \TSIDE1
SQUA2L+ AT ! D9N] TA#1 WAT*+ "S C>TOON
ON TELEVI.N & LAU<+ UPRO>I\SLY1 9T]RUPT+
ME Z ,I TALK ON ! PH"O 6! DOCTOR4 ,I
TURN 6MY "YE/ FI]CELY1 CUPP+ MY H& OV] !
RCVR4 8,W Y %UT UP6 ,C'T Y SEE ,I'M ON !
PH"O80 ,& 9 T MO;T1 ,I SEE HM BLAN*1
HURT & RES5T;T FLICK]+ ACR 8 FACE4 ,"O M
PIECE ( ME 4APPE>S4
  ,LAT]1 /&+ AT ! $GE ( _! B$ROOM1 WAT*+
Z !Y PLAY *ECK]S1 ,I WANT 6TELL !M4 ,I
WANT 6SAY3 8,I MI<T DIE SOON40 ,I WANT
6%AKE !M4 8,C'T Y SEE ME8 ,C'T Y SEE T
,I'M R1L80 ,B :AT ,I SAY IS1 8,HEY1 BUD1
,I'M SORRY ,I 0 %>P ) Y :5 ,I 0 TALK+ ON
! PH"O4 ,I DIDN'T M1N 6SNAP L T40
  ,HE %RUGS 8 %\LD]S1 ABSORB$ 9 8 GAME4
8,S'OKAY10 HE SAYS4 ,HE DOESN'T LOOK UP4

  ,ONCE1 MY "F HIT MY "M & ,I /OOD BY
WAT*+1 SMIRK+ 96MY H&4 ,=A L;G "T 9 MY
LIFE1 E BAD ?+ T HAPP5$ SEEM$ BITT]LY
HIL>I\S4 ,I FELT T ,I _H A HEI<T5$ S5SE
(! ABSURD4 ,:5 MY "F 0 DY+--DY+ (   #ABG
! SAME C.ER ,I N[ H1 IF Y WANT ! TRU?--
,I 0 ALM GI4Y )! T]RI# IRONY ( X1 ! S>-
CASM ( ,GOD4 ,X 0 AB TWO MON?S AF ! RE-
TIRE;T HE'D BE5 TALK+ AB1 HOP+ =2 = YE>S
HE _H BE5 PLANN+ 6BUY A ,W9NEBAGO1 6G
TRAVEL+ ACR ! C.TRY ) MY "M4 ,HE 0 DIAG-
NOS$ %ORTLY AF HE'D PUR*AS$ ! ?+4
  ,T "T HE HIT MY "M1 !Y _H BE5 >GU+ =A
L;G :ILE4 ,I DON'T REMEMB] :AT X 0 AB4
,X M/ H BE5 V IMPORTANT 6!M AT ! "T1 B
,I SAW H[ M9USCULE X WAS1 H[ LL X MATT]$
9 ! GR& S*EME ( ?+S4 ,:AT CD ,I D B TRY
63TA9 MY PRIVATE LAU<T]8 ,BACK !N1 ,I
2LIEV$ T ,I _H NO 3NEC;N 6^! /RANG]S1 ^!
TWO FOOLI% P :O DIDN'T R1LIZE T !Y 7 ALR
SUMM$ UP4 ,_! LIVES 7 ALR OV]1 ,I ?"\
!N4 ,NO?+ !Y "E DID CD *ANGE ?+S4
  ,& S1 9 GI4Y & ADR5AL9E-FUEL$ %OCK1 ,I
CLAMP$ MY H& OV] MY M\?4 ,I SAW MY "F'S
FACE TWI/ Z HE TURN$ 6ME1 & ,I WOND] :AT
HE ?"\ ,I 0 ?9K+4 ,8 EYES WID5$ & 8 M\?
MOV$4 ,WE LOOK$ AT "O ANO!R2 ,I ?9K N[ T
HE HOP$ T ,I CD SAVE HM4

                                    #ABH
  ,:Y D WE ?9K T1 WE P>5TS8 ,:Y D ,I ?9K
X EV5 N[1 /&+ 9 ! D>K1 WAT*+ MY SONS
SLEEP+8 ,SAVE ME1 SAVE ME1 ,I ?9K4 ,&
YET !Y C'T1 ( C\RSE4 ,ALR ,I AM HALFWAY
G"O4 ,EV5 F ! 2G9N+1 :5 _! 9FANT'S EYES
2G9 6FOCUS ON YR FLOAT+ FACE1 ! WAY A
CAT W WAT* ! MOON1 ALR Y >E A <O/ ( YRF4
  ,HE M/ H "KN T1 TOO1 MY "F4 ,HE M/ H
SE5 X 9 MY FACE Z ,I />$ BACK AT HM4 ,I
SIT D[N ON MY "YE/ SON'S B$1 Z MY "F
MI<T H SAT ON MY B$ LATE "O NI<T :5 ,I 0
A *4 ,WE LOOK D[N1 WE T\* ! *'S E>1
WAT*+ HM /IR A LL4
  ,B NO MATT] H[ H>D WE TRY1 WE >E 4AP-
PE>+4 ,OH1 MY *1 Y W N"E SAVE ME4 ,Y W
N"E 2 :AT ,I WANT$ 6BE1 Y W N"E LOVE ME
9 ! WAY ,I NE$ Y TO1 Y W N"E GIVE ME MYF
BACK4
  ,& YET1 ,I =GIVE Y4 ,Y WON'T "K ? UN-
TIL A L;G "T LAT]1 MY LL N>RATOR1 MY
WIDE-EY$ CAM]A4 ,Y WON'T "K X1 B ,I =-
GAVE Y A L;G "T AGO4


       ,,PASS5G]S1 ,,REMA9 ,,CALM   #ABI

  ,"H IS A SNAKE )A GIRL 9 8 M\?4 ,%E IS
A LL BLOND GIRL1 AB F\R YE>S OLD1 & HE
IS A R>E ALB9O ANACONDA1 P9K & :ITE1 AB
?REE FEET L;G--J A BABY1 RE,Y4 ,N"E!.S1
HE IS TRY+ 6EAT ! *2 H] H& & =E>M H 4AP-
PE>$ D[N 8 ?ROAT1 & HE HAS COIL$ ! RE/ (
8 BODY >.D H] BICEP1 TRY+ 63/RICT X4 ,8
WIDE M\? GIVES ! IMPRES.N ( GLOAT+ M]RI-
;T2 %E1 ( C\RSE1 IS SCR1M+1 & ,HOLLIS &
8 "Y NEPHEW DRAW CLOS] 6! SMALL CIRCLE (
BY/&]S :O H =M$ >.D H]4 8,X'S ALL "R10 !
[N] (! ,REPTILE ,PETT+ ,ZOO TELLS ! GA?-
]+ Z HE TRIES 6UNW9D ! SNAKE'S COILS4
8,"EY?+ IS "U 3TROL40 ,! GIRL IS APP>5T-
LY ! [N]'S DAU<T]4 8,J CALM D[N10 HE
SAYS4 8,DIDN'T ,DA4Y TELL Y T Y %D ALW
WA% YR H&S AF PLAY+ )! G]BILS8 ,N[ ,RO-
S>IO ?9KS T Y >E A G]BIL60
  8,I HATE ,ROS>IO60 ! LL GIRL WAILS4
  8,"!1 "!10 H] "F SOO!S4 8,NO Y DON'T40
,HE SP1KS 9 A S(T VOICE1 B HE GRUNTS )
EX];N Z HE ATTEMPTS 6UNTANGLE 8 DAU<T]'S
>M F ! SNAKE1 ^: TAIL :IPS WILDLY :5 X
IS 45GAG$4 8,DAMN1 DAMN10 ! MAN     #ACJ
:ISP]S1 SW1T+4
  8,MY ,GOD60 SAYS A WOMAN 9 ! AUDI;E4
8,KILL ! ?+6 ,KILL X60
  8,PL1SE60 ! "F CRIES1 /RU7L+ 6MA9TA9 8
JOVIAL1 %[MAN'S VOICE4 8,/& BACK1 "EY"O6
,"EY?+ IS "U 3TROL60
  ,=A MO;T1 ,HOLLIS WOND]S :E!R 8 NEPHEW
"\ 6BE WAT*+4 ,B !N A UNI=M$ SECUR;Y (-
FIC] >RIVES1 &)! (FIC]'S HELP1 ! GIRL IS
PRI$ FREE4 ,"! IS A SMATT]+ ( APPLAUSE4
,! GIRL'S H& IS R$1 A BIT SWOLL51 B N
BLE$+4 ,HOLLIS WAT*ES Z ! [N] RETURNS !
SNAKE 6XS GLASS CAGE4 ,! [N] PRESSES !
SNAKE'S SN\T 96A DI% ( WAT]4 8,"H10 !
MAN SAYS4 8,H A DR9K40 ,HE HOLDS !
SNAKE'S H1D "UWAT] =A FEW MO;TS1 & ?\< !
MAN'S VOICE S.DS PLACID1 EV5 G5TLE1
,HOLLIS C SEE 8 JAW TI<T5 ) RAGE4
  ,HOLLIS HAS NOTIC$ T HE ALW SEEMS TO
WIT;S ^! WEIRD LL 9CID5TS M ?AN O!R P4

  ,? IS AT ! T[N'S YE>LY C>NIVAL1 :1
AL;G )! ,REPTILE ,PETT+ ,ZOO1 F1TURES !
USUAL M5AG]IE--A HAY RIDE1 A C>\SEL1 A
,F]RIS :EEL1 A FEW SC>Y RIDES1 L    #ACA
! ,OCTOPUS &! ,HAMM]H1D4 ,"! >E A S]IES
( GAME BOO?S1 AT : *N GAM# = /U6$ ANI-
MALS & PLA/IC TR9KETS4 ,AT TWO 9 ! AFN1
"! IS A PET %[2 AT FIVE1 "! IS A RA6LE =
A BR&-NEW ,KAWASAKI MOTORCYCLE2 AT DUSK1
"! W 2 FIRE"WS4 ,HOLLIS'S NEPHEW IS
DEEPLY 5GROSS$1 RUNN+ PURPOSE;LLY F EX-
HIBIT 6EXHIBIT1 & ,HOLLIS FOLL[S ?"\;L-
LY1 / O3UPI$ )! IMAGE (! GIRL &! SNAKE1
: HE PLANS 6WRITE AB 9 8 J\RNAL4
  ,HOLLIS HAS BE5 SP5D+ A LOT ( "T ) 8
NEPHEW LATELY4 ,HOLLIS IS TW5TY-TWO YE>S
OLD1 &! BOY1 ,F4,D41 IS EI<T1 B ,HOLLIS
G5],Y F9DS ! * GD -PANY4 ,X GIVES HM A
*.E 6D ?+S HE WDN'T O!RWISE1 L GO+ 6MAT-
9EES OR ICE-CR1M P>LORS4
  ,F4,D4'S "F1 ,WAYNE1 HAS BE5 G"O = OV]
A MON? N[4 ,WAYNE IS ,HOLLIS'S OLD]
BRO!R1 & ?\< ,HOLLIS _H "KN T ,WAYNE 0
UNHAPPY1 HE'D N"E EXPECT$ HM 6D "S?+ S
DRA/IC4 ,NO "O KNEW ": ,WAYNE _H G"O--_!
"M _H GOTT5 A PO/C>D1 & S _H ,WAYNE'S
WIFE1 ,JILL1 B ,WAYNE _H (F]$ NO EXPLA-
N,N1 ONLY A K9D ( VAGUE APOLOGY4 8,"EY?+
IS OKAY10 HE'D WRITT5 6_! "M4       #ACB
8,SORRY = ANY WORRY1 W 3TACT Y ,,ASAP4
XXXOOO ,WAYNE40
  ,HOLLIS HASN'T SE5 ! PO/C>D T ,WAYNE
_H S5T ,JILL1 B HE SUSPECTS T %E "KS M
AB ,WAYNE'S 4APPE>.E ?AN %E'S TOLD ANY-
"O4 ,%E'S BE5 9 AN ODD /ATE S9CE ,WAYNE
LEFT--N \TRAG$1 N HY/]ICAL1 N DESP]ATE &
FURI\S1 Z ,HOLLIS MI<T H EXPECT$--B SUB-
DU$1 MOODY1 4TRACT$4 ,HOLLIS ?9KS T %E
MI<T 2 TAK+ "S SORT ( DRUG4 ,H] EYES H T
FLOAT+1 "S":-ELSE LOOK1 & ON WEEK5DS %E
N"E SEEMS 6GET \ ( H] PAJAMAS4 ,H] B1U-
TI;L D>K HAIR WANTS CUTT+1 & %E HAS BE5
BIT+ H] NAILS4
  ,B %E APPE>S 6BE GETT+ BY3 ,%E GOES TO
H] JOB AT ! SUP]M>KET1 & ,F4,D4 & 8 LL
SI/] ,HANNA >E CL1N & MAKE X E "D 6!
S*OOL BUS1 B X'S CLE> T ?+S >5'T GO+
WELL4 ,LA/ ,FRI"D NI<T1 ,HOLLIS W5T "? &
COLLECT$ ALL ! DIRTY DI%ES T 7 LY+ >.D1
EMPTY C]1L B[LS 9 ! LIV+ ROOM1 HALF-FULL
C(FEE CUPS ON V>I\S SURFACES1 PLATES /
LEFT ON ! TA# F TWO OR ?REE SUPP]S BACK4
,HE GA!R$ UP ALL ! DI%ES 9 ! S9K & WA%$
!M4                                 #ACC
  8,Y'RE A NICE GUY1 ,HOLLIS10 ,JILL _H
SD 6HM Z HE /OOD "! AT ! S9K1 & HE'D
%RU7$1 A LL EMB>RASS$4 ,! TRU? WAS1 HE
FELT A LL GUILTY & A%AM$ ( 8 BRO!R'S BE-
HAVIOR4 ,"SBODY _H 6ACT L A DEC5T P]SON1
HE'D ?"\1 ?\< HE DIDN'T SAY ?4 8,Y .>E10
%E SD4 8,Y'RE A NICE GUY40 ,HE'D J %AK5
8 H1D4
  8,N RE,Y10 HE SD1 & AF A MO;T %E PUT
H] H& ON ! SMALL ( 8 BACK1 L[1 "R ABV !
SLOPE ( 8 BUTTOCK4 ,H] H& SEEM$ 6T+LE1 &
! AIR 0 H1VY )! IDEA T %E MI<T KISS HM1
OR HE MI<T KISS H]4 ,!N %E BACK$ AWAY4
  8,HOLLIS10 %E SD4 8,LET'S =GET ,I DID
T1 OKAY80
  ,HE NO4$1 & %E'D LOOK$ 96HIS EYES 9 A
WAY HE F.D 9EXPLICA#4 ,HE KNEW !N T "! 7
A LOT ( ?+S %E WASN'T TELL+ HM & T
,WAYNE _HN'T TOLD HM EI4 8,OKAY10 HE'D
SD1 B X WASN'T Z IF HE CD RE,Y =GET X1
EI4 ,T NI<T1 HE'D WRITT5 AB X 9 8 J\R-
NAL1 J A LL P>AGRAPH4 ,HE DOESN'T WRITE
AB 8 FEEL+S OR ?"\S 9 ! J\RNAL4 ,HE J
DESCRIBES /UFF4
                                    #ACD
  ,F4,D4 DOES N "K :AT IS GO+ ON4 ,!
:OLE FAMILY1 9CLUD+ ,JILL1 SEEMS 6BE
COLLUD+ 6KEEP X F ! BOY4 ,HOLLIS ?9KS X
IS WR;G1 B HE HASN'T BE5 GIV5 ANY (FI-
CIAL SAY 9 ! MATT]4 ,! /ORY T ,F4,D4 HAS
BE5 GIV5 IS T ,WAYNE HAS G"O ON A L;G
TRIP1 & W 2 BACK SOON4 78,W HE 2 BACK BY
MY BIR?"D80 ,F4,D4 _H ASK$1 & "EY"O
AGRE$1 ..YES1 C]TA9LY 0,F4,D4'S .BIR?"D1
: IS ,OCTOB] #CA/1 & : IS N[ 2G9N+ 6LOOM
OM9\SLY47 ,X IS CRIM9AL1 ,HOLLIS "S"TS
FEELS1 6PLAY )! BOY'S M9D 9 S* A WAY4
,F4,D4 M/ "K T "S?+ IS WR;G1 ,HOLLIS
?9KS4
  ,B IF S1 HE N"E ASKS4 ,HE SEEMS1 Z F>
Z ,HOLLIS C TELL1 PRETTY *E];L1 PRETTY
NORMAL4

  ,/1 ,HOLLIS ?9KS ( ? Z !Y SIT ON ! HAY
RIDE1 LI/5+ 6! HORSES CLOP H1VILY AL;G !
PA?WAYS (! P>K4 ,!Y >E 2+ DRIV5 >.D !
CIRCUMF];E (! C>NIVAL4 ,!Y PASS ! BOO?S
( POLITICIANS & C.TY AG5CIES3 P RUNN+ =
C;Y C\NCIL OR S*OOL BO>D2 P :O REPRES5T
! C.TY RECYCL+ EF=T1 GIV+ DEMON-    #ACE
/R,NS ON H[ 6CR1TE A -PO/ H1P2 P REPRE-
S5T+ ! ,DE"P;T ( ,HUMAN ,S]VICES1 H&+ \
PAMPHLETS T TELL ( H[ 6AVOID ABUS+ YR
*N4 ,! FIRE DE"P;T IS H&+ \ ,RESCUE ,ME
/ICK]S =! *N'S W9D[S1 FLUORESC5T CIRCLES
T W ID5TIFY _! ROOMS %D _! H\SES "E CAT*
AFIRE4 ,HE RECOGNIZES A FEW (! M51 F !
BRIEF "T HE'D "W$ AT ! FIRE DE"P;T1 B HE
DOESN'T WAVE4
  ,B ! P ON ! HAY RIDE D1 &! P 2L WAVE
BACK1 SMIL+4 8,HELLO6 ,HELLO60 ! *N
CALL4 ,F4,D4 O3UPIES HMF ) ? =A :ILE1
SOLEMNLY LIFT+ 8 H& OV] 8 H1D 9 A WAY T
MAKES ,HOLLIS SAD4 ,F4,D4 IS HOLD+ TI<T-
LY 6A SMALL /U6$ ANIMAL1 A FURRY BLUE
SNAKE )A WIDE1 R$ FELT M\? & GOOGLE-
EYES1 AB SIX 9*ES L;G4 ,F4,D4 _H WON X
0?R[+ A D>T AT A CORKBO>D WALL L9$ )A R[
( BALLOONS4 ,:5 A BALLOON _H POPP$1 HE'D
CR[$ ) TRIUMPH & DID A LL D.E4 8,ALL
."R60 HE'D SD1 PUMP+ 8 FI/S Z A?LETIC
*AMPIONS DID ON TELEVI.N4
  ,N[1 ,F4,D4 DOTES OV] ! TOY SNAKE ?"\-
;LLY1 SMOO?+ XS POLYE/] FUR4 8,Y "K10
,F4,D4 SAYS1 8"S"D1 ,I'D L 6H A     #ACF
R1L SNAKE Z A PET4 ,T'S "O ( MY DR1MS40
  8,Y1H10 ,HOLLIS SAYS4 8,T WD 2 COOL4
,Z L;G Z ! SNAKE DIDN'T TRY 6EAT Y40
  ,F4,D4 SNORTS4 8,T LL GIRL 0 AN IDI-
OT10 HE SAYS ) 4TA/E4 8,I FELT M SORRY =
! SNAKE ?AN ,I DID = H]40
  8,WELL10 ,HOLLIS SAYS4 8,%E 0 J LL40
  8,I SUPPOSE10 ,F4,D4 SAYS4 8,B %E %D H
LI/5$ 6:AT T MAN TOLD H]1 T'S ALL4 ,MO/
SNAKES >E A FR 6,MAN40 ,HE LOOKS SOLEMN-
LY ACR ! HAY RIDE 6": ! WOMAN SITS :O _H
E>LI] %\T$1 8,KILL ! ?+6 ,KILL X60 9 !
,REPTILE ,PETT+ ,ZOO4 ,%E IS A PLUMP1
R.D-FAC$ WOMAN ) %\LD]-L5G? R$DI% BLOND
HAIR1 BO2$ 9 A FA%ION T IS POPUL> AM;G
WOM5 ( H] AGE & SOCIAL CLASS1 & L
,F4,D41 ,HOLLIS TAKES AN 9/9CTIVE 4LIKE
6H]4
  8,I SEE :AT Y M1N10 ,HOLLIS SAYS4
  ..,I SEE :AT Y .M1N4 ,X 0 FUNNY1 2C ?
0 "S?+ HE WD (T5 SAY :5 HE 0 TALK+ TO
,WAYNE4 ,WAYNE 0 A 3V9C+ TALK]1 & ,HOL-
LIS1 :O 0 FIVE YE>S "Y]1 WD F9D HMF FRE-
QU5TLY SWAY$ 0,WAYNE'S VIEWS4 ,X 0
,WAYNE :O _H SD1 = EXAMPLE1 8,N"E   #ACG
ASSUME T Y "K :AT GOES ON 9SIDE A M>-
RIAGE4 ,2C ,I'M TELL+ Y1 NO MATT] H[
CLOSE Y ?9K Y >E1 Y W N"E "K ^? P L !Y
"K EA* O!R4 ,X'S L A CLOS$ SY/EM4 ,!
W1!R 9SIDE A M>RIAGE IS ALW DI6]5T F !
W1!R ( "EY?+ >.D X40 ,HOLLIS _H NO4$
SL[LY1 3SID]+ ?4 ,!Y _H BE5 TALK+ AB _!
P>5TS T NI<T1 & ,HOLLIS _H SD T HE FELT
C]TA9 T NEI "O ( !M _H "E _H AN A6AIR4
,HOLLIS SD T HE CDN'T "U/& :Y P WD D T
6_! SP\SES4 ,X DIDN'T MAKE S5SE1 HE SD1
& !N ,WAYNE SWEPT 9 ) 8 METAPHORS ( W1?-
]4 8,I'M N SAY+ T ,I'VE _H AN A6AIR1
EI10 ,WAYNE SD4 8,I'M J SAY+ T Y C N"E
ASSUME 6"K40
  8,I SEE :AT Y M1N10 ,HOLLIS SD4
  ,HE & ,WAYNE _H BE5 SITT+ \ 9 ! G>AGE1
NE> ! WOOD/OVE1 9 LAWN *AIRS4 ,X 0 W9T]1
& !Y 7 FE$+ LOGS 96! FIRE1 DR9K+ BE]S \
(A COOL] T SAT 2T !M4 ,X 0 _! ,FRI"D
NI<T RITUAL4 ,HOLLIS WD -E OV] = D9N]1 &
!N !Y WD SIT 9 ! G>AGE & DR9K BE]1 "S"TS
SMOK+ A LL POT1 TALK+4 ,WAYNE R1D A LOT1
& HE ALW _H "S?+ 9T]E/+ 6SAY4 ,WAYNE _H
HOP$ 6BE A LAWY]1 2F ,JILL 2CAME    #ACH
PREGNANT4
  ,"S"TS1 ,HOLLIS FELT T 8 BRO!R 0 8 BE/
FR1 & HE WD G 6SLEEP ON ,WAYNE & ,JILL'S
C\* )A FEEL+ T "! 0 "O P]SON ON E>? :O
"U/OOD HM1 "O P]SON :O WD ALW RECOGNIZE
HM4 ,O!R "TS1 LESS FREQU5TLY1 HE WD F9D
HMF DRIV+ HOME1 8 FEEL+S HURT1 DRIV+ EV5
?\< HE 0 DRUNK & AFRAID ( 2+ PULL$ OV]1
OR GETT+ 96AN A3ID5T1 & ,WAYNE DID N /OP
HM4
  ,ONCE HE'D TOLD ,WAYNE T HE ?"\ M
WEIRD ?+S HAPP5$ 6HM ?AN 6NORMAL P1 &
HE'D DESCRIB$ T FEEL+ HE _H1 T ! _W
SEEM$ FULL ( /RANGE LL 9CID5TS4 ,HE _H
EXPECT$ ,WAYNE 6AGREE :OLEHE>T$LY4
  ,B 9/1D ,WAYNE _H LOOK$ AT HM /]NLY4
8,X'S N ! _W1 ,HOLLIS10 HE'D SD1 8X'S Y4
,I M1N1 Y'RE AN 9TELLIG5T GUY & ALL1 B
Y'RE SORT ( EMO;N,Y RET>D$40 ,HOLLIS 0
SURPRIS$ 0! IRRIT,N 9 ,WAYNE'S T"O (
VOICE4 8,X'S L1 D Y REMEMB] ! "T ,DAD _H
A HE>T ATTACK8 ,& WE 7 GO+ 6! HOSPITAL &
Y LOOK$ \ ! C> W9D[ & SAW A DOG )A MISS+
LEG8 ,ALL Y WANT$ 6TALK AB 0 T /UPID
DOG1 & Y CDN'T 2LIEVE T ! RE/ ( U   #ACI
DIDN'T SEE X4 ,B WE 7 NORMAL1 ,HOLLIS4
,WE W]5'T LOOK+ \ ! W9D[ & NOTIC+ GO(Y
%IT4 ,WE 7 M5T,Y FOCUS$ ON "S?+ S]I\S1 :
Y SELDOM >E40
  ,HOLLIS 0 /UNN$1 Z HE ALW WAS1 ?\< HE
PROBABLY %D H BE5 US$ 6X4 ,"S"TS1 = NO
R1SON1 ,WAYNE WD ATTACK1 TR1T+ HM L A
CRIM9AL HE 0 CROSS-EXAM9+ DUR+ A TRIAL4
,X DIDN'T MAKE S5SE4 ,:AT _H HE SD1 6BR+
? ON8 ,HE _H ! S5S,N ( %R9K+4
  8,I DIDN'T "K T ,DAD _H A HE>T AT-
TACK10 HE SD1 AF A MO;T1 QUIETLY4 8,NO-
BODY TOLD ME40
  8,HOLLIS10 ,WAYNE SD4 ,HE PASS$ 8 H&1
H>D1 "? 8 BANGS1 AN OLD GE/URE T M1NT1
ESS5TI,Y3 ,I C'T 2LIEVE MY BRO!R IS S
/UPID4 8,HOLLIS10 HE SD4 8,Y N"E BO!R$
6F9D \ :AT 0 WR;G4 ,"!'S A DI6];E40
  ,N[1 ?9K+ ( ?1 ,HOLLIS GETS A HOLL[
FEEL+ 9 8 /OMA*4 ,HE C'T 2LIEVE T ,WAYNE
DIDN'T S5D HM A PO/C>D4 ,X MAKES HM FEEL
TRICK$4 ,B 0:OM8 ,WAYNE1 OR HMF8 ,HE
?9KS T HE %D "K :Y ,WAYNE LEFT1 B HE
DOESN'T4
                                    #ADJ
  ,F4,D4 LOOKS L ! PAT]NAL SIDE ( 8 FAM-
ILY4 ,M SPECIFIC,Y1 HE LOOKS A LOT L
,HOLLIS HMF1 : ,HOLLIS HAS ALW F.D SE-
CRETLY ?RILL+4 ,9 8 P]SONAL;Y1 ,F4,D4 IS
M L ,WAYNE4 ,"! IS AN AU/]E 3FID;E T
,HOLLIS RECOGNIZES1 AN EXPECT,N T :AT HE
HAS 6SAY IS TRUE & IMPORTANT1 A C]TA9
WAY 8 GRAY EYES CL\D ) 3FID;E1 A WAY 8
M\? MOVES 9 JUDG;T ( O!R P'S IGNOR.E4
..,MO/ SNAKES >E A FR 6.,MAN4
  ,HOLLIS ?9KS ( ? Z HE & ,F4,D4 >E SIT-
T+ AT A PICNIC TA#1 EAT+ NA*OS4 ,F4,D4
EATS HE>TILY & ,HOLLIS MO/LY WAT*ES4 ,!Y
H REC5TLY PUR*AS$ ?REE RA6LE TICKETS1
FIVE DOLL>S EA*1 & ,F4,D4 IS TALK+ AB !
POSSIBIL;Y ( W9N+ ! MOTORCYCLE4
  8,WELL10 ,HOLLIS SAYS4 8,I DON'T USU,Y
W9 /UFF40
  8,B IF Y DID10 ,F4,D4 SAYS4 8,:AT WD Y
D80
  8,IF ,I W910 ,HOLLIS SAYS1 8,I'LL GIVE
X 6Y4 ,:5 Y'RE SIXTE51 Y C DRIVE X1 &
UNTIL Y'RE OLD 5 ,I'LL GIVE Y RIDES ON
X4 ,WE'LL G ON A TRIP ON \R MOTORCYCLE4
,L 6,WA%+TON1 ,D4,C41 OR "S?+4      #ADA
,HAV5'T Y ALW WANT$ 6SEE ! ,SMI?SONIAN1
&! ,WA%+TON ,MONU;T1 & ALL T80
  8,&! ,:ITE ,H\SE80 SAYS ,F4,D4 5?USI-
A/IC,Y4 ,AT T MO;T1 ,F4,D4 & ,HOLLIS
LOVE EA* O!R UNCONDI;N,Y4
  8,Y1H10 ,HOLLIS SAYS4 8,ALL ( X40 ,HE
SMILES4 8,& :5 ,I'M OLD1 Y C TAKE ME =
RIDES ON X4 ,WE'LL H 6BUY HELMETS40
  8,GOLD "OS10 ,F4,D4 SAYS4 8,T'S ! K9D
,I L4 ,METALLIC40
  8,Y1H10 ,HOLLIS SAYS4 ,& !Y BO? DRIFT
96SEP>ATE IMAG9+S4

  ,:5 ,WAYNE WANT$ 6ANALYZE ,HOLLIS1 HE
WD SAY T ,HOLLIS 0 A DR1M]1 N A DO]4 8,Y
DON'T SEEM 6H ANY PLANS = YR LIFE10
,WAYNE SD 9 A ?"\;L VOICE T 0 M1NT 6BE
3/RUCTIVE CRITICISM4 8,Y J SEEM 6DRIFT F
"O ?+ 6! NEXT40 ,& ,HOLLIS SAT "!1 NO4+1
Z ,WAYNE TALK$ AB MAK+ UP A ,FIVE-,YE>
,PLAN1 SETT+ "S GOALS4
  ,? 0 AF ,HOLLIS QUIT ! JOB HE'D TAK5
ON )! FIRE DE"P;T1 & ,WAYNE 0 4APPO9T$4
,WAYNE _H LIK$ ! IDEA ( ,HOLLIS'S JOB1 &
,HOLLIS _H TOO1 AT F/4 ,B !N HE'D   #ADB
ACTU,Y />T$ GO+ 6A3ID5T SITES )! EM]G5CY
CREW & HE *ANG$ 8 M9D4 ,HE _H ?"\ AB
TELL+ ,WAYNE ?1 B !N DIDN'T4 ,HE DIDN'T
WANT 6TALK AB X4
  ,"! 0 "O A3ID5T HE REMEMB]$4 ,? 0 AB
MIDNI<T ON A ,?URS"D NI<T1 & HE _H BE5
"W+ =A MON? 0!N4 ,X 0 A COLLI.N3 ,? KID
_H RE>-5D$ ! BACK (A /ALL$ SEMI \ ON !
HI<WAY1 &! KID'S TRUCK _H BUR/ 96FLAMES
ON IMPACT4 ,! KID 0 AB TW5TY OR S1 HE
F.D \ LAT]1 & M/ H BE5 GO+ >.D SEV5TY
MILES P] H\R :5 HE CRA%$4 ,T 0 X = HM1 (
C\RSE4 8,A BOOM &A FLA%10 SD "O (! FIRE-
M51 ,L>RY4 8,! FAT LADY S+S40 ,0! "T !Y
>RIV$1 "! WASN'T M* LEFT1 & EV5 ,L>RY SD
X 0 BAD1 V BAD4 ,HE & ,L>RY _H TRI$ 6GET
! KID'S CORPSE \ (! TRUCK & ONTO !
/RET*]1 B ! BODY J FELL A"P1 8L A *ICK5
T GOT BURN$ ON ! B>BECUE10 ,L>RY SD LAT-
]3 C9D]S1 A%1 COOK$ M1T4 ,HOLLIS 2GAN 6H
NI<TM>ES1 AF T1 & F9,Y HE W5T 6SEE A !R-
API/ T ! FIRE DE"P;T _H HIR$1 :OM !
FIREM5 CD TALK TO1 = FREE4
  8,Y "K10 ! !RAPI/ SD4 8,Y %[ SIGNS (
2+ SUSCEPTI# 6PO/TRAUMATIC /RESS    #ADC
4ORD]40 ,! MAN _H A SL[1 A6ECT.S VOICE1
Z IF HE'D REC5TLY SMOK$ M>IJUANA4 8,IF
Y'D G"O 6,VIETNAM1 Y'D PROBABLY H 2COME
A S*IZOPHR5IC4 ,( C\RSE1 NO "O C PRE-
DICT4 ,Y MAY 2COME 9UR$ 6X1 AF ?4 ,X'S
H>D 6TELL40
  ,%ORTLY AF1 HE'D RESIGN$4 ,! O!R M5 AT
! FIRE /,N _H "KN ! R1SON1 & HE ?"\ !Y
RESPECT$ ! DECI.N4 ,HE _HN'T EXPLA9$ !
:OLE ?+ 6,WAYNE1 : 0 :Y ,WAYNE 2CAME AN-
NOY$4 ,B HE DIDN'T "K IF HE CD MAKE
,WAYNE "U/&4 ,HE _HN'T EV5 WRITT5 AB X 9
8 J\RNAL4

  ,2Y ! T5T ": HE & ,F4,D4 >E EAT+ NA-
*OS1 HE C HE> ! VOICE (! OP]ATOR (!
,HAMM]H1D1 A T9NY VOICE "? A MICROPH"O1
GIV+ ! RIDE A H>D SELL4 8,PASS5G]S1 RE-
MA9 CALM10 HE SAYS OM9\SLY1 Z IF HE IS A
PILOT ANN\NC+ AN 5G9E FAILURE4 8,HOLD
TI<T 6YR LOV$ "OS4 ,PREP>E YRF4 ,TRY N
6SCR1M40
  8,? GUY'S GD10 ,HOLLIS SD 6,F4,D4
  8,:AT GUY80
  ,& ,HOLLIS WAV$ 8 H&1 PO9T+ 6!    #ADD
AIR S ,F4,D4 WD "K 6LI/54
  8,? IS :AT X FEELS L 6BE 9 A PLANE T
IS GO+ D[N10 ! OP]ATOR (! ,HAMM]H1D
CR[S4 8,D Y D>E 6EXP]I;E X8 ,C Y TAKE X8
,C Y TAKE ? TRIP )\T SCR1M+ 9 HORROR80
  ,HE GR9S AT ,F4,D41 & ,F4,D4 GR9S
BACK3 ,!Y'RE N GO+ ON ! ,HAMM]H1D1 !Y
AGREE1 9 A BRIEF EX*ANGE ( GL.ES4
  ,"S"D1 ,HOLLIS ?9KS1 HE W TELL ,F4,D4
AB ! KID'S BODY T FELL A"P :5 HE TRI$ TO
LIFT X4 ,F4,D4 WD "U/&4 8,PASS5G]S1 RE-
MA9 CALM10 ! MAN CALLS 9 ! 4T.E1 & ,HOL-
LIS FEELS =A MO;T Z IF HE HAS HALF
GLIMPS$ A SECRET1 "S HI45 ASPECT (! _W1
"S?+ HE DIDN'T WANT 6"K4 ,HE C HE>
,WAYNE SAY+1 8,X'S N ! _W4 ,X'S .Y40 ,HE
C HE> ,JILL SAY+1 8,Y'RE A NICE GUY1
,HOLLIS40 ,HE LOOKS OV] AT ": ,F4,D4 IS
SITT+1 MUN*+ TORTILLA *IPS4 ,8 HE>T
A*ES4

  ,6A C]TA9 EXT5T1 HE HAS A LIFE ( 8 [N4
,HE N[ HAS A JOB 9 A FACTORY T MAKES PA-
P] TUBE PRODUCTS1 & X PAYS PRETTY WELL4
,HE HAS FRS 8 [N AGE1 ) :OM HE      #ADE
GOES \ 6B>S & S*4 ,HE HAS GIRLFRS1 TOO1
?\< HE HAS NOTIC$ T DATE NUMB] ?REE ALW
SEEMS L ! 5D1 T ?+S ALM ALW PET] \ AF T4
  ,B ! TRU? IS1 HE _H ALW FELT MO/ -=TA#
) ,WAYNE & ,JILL & ,F4,D4--J HANG+ \1 Z
IF HE 7 "SH[ "O ( !M1 Z IF T 0 ": HE RE-
,Y 2L;G$4 ,HE HAS ! IMAGE (! F\R ( !M1
SITT+ 9 ! LIV+ ROOM1 WAT*+ ,,TV4 ,WAYNE
& ,JILL >E ON ! C\* & HE IS 9 ! RECL9] &
,F4,D4 IS 9 8 PAJAMAS1 TUCK$ 96A SLEEP+
BAG ON ! FLOOR4 ,!Y >E WAT*+ A -$Y MOV-
IE1 "S?+ HE'S SE5 2F1 B HE'S 5JOY+ X
ANYWAY4 ,HE LIKES 6LI/5 6!M LAU<4 ,HE
FEELS SAFE & WELCOME3 HAPPY4 ,X'S AW;L1
2C HE N[ FEELS C]TA9 T ? MO;T ISN'T
TRUE4

  ,"! IS A L9E AT ! BA?ROOM & !Y WAIT
QUIETLY1 %U6L+ SL[LY T[>D A S+LE BLUE
,PORT-,O-,POTTY4 ,!Y >E BO? SIL5T &1 AF
A "T1 ,HOLLIS SMILES D[N AT ,F4,D4 8,:AT
>E Y ?9K+1 BU4Y80
  ,F4,D4 %RUGS4 8,NO?+10 HE SAYS4 ,HE IS
?"\;L1 & HE HESITATES =A MO;T4 8,UNCLE
,HOLLIS10 HE SAYS AT LA/4 8,H Y     #ADF
"E SE5 ! MOVIE .,ALI580
  8,I ?9K S10 ,HOLLIS SAYS4 8,I DON'T
REMEMB]40
  8,I'VE BE5 WANT+ 6SEE X = MY :OLE
LIFE10 SAYS ,F4,D4 8,B ,MOM ?9KS X'S TOO
SC>Y4 ,& ,I 0 ?9K+ T MAYBE WE CD R5T X &
WAT* X AT YR H\SE "S"T4 ,I PROMISE ,I
WDN'T TELL ,MOM4 ,I WDN'T GET SC>$1 EI40
  8,WELL10 ,HOLLIS SAYS4 8,I DON'T "K4
,T S.DS K9D ( SN1KY40
  ,F4,D4 %RUGS4 8,N .BAD SN1KY10 HE
SAYS4 8,X WDN'T HURT ANYBODY40
  8,I DON'T "K10 ,HOLLIS SAYS4 8,I'LL H
6?9K AB X40
  8,OKAY10 ,F4,D4 SAYS4 ,8 EYES RE/ ON
,HOLLIS S]I\SLY1 A L;G1 SE>*+1 HOPE;L
LOOK4 ,AF A M9UTE1 ,F4,D4 SAYS1 8,I WI%
,I LIV$ ) Y40
  ,HOLLIS DOESN'T SAY ANY?+4 ,HE ?9KS X
WD 2 OKAY 6SAY1 8,S D ,I1 BU4Y10 B HE'S
N SURE4 ,X MI<T AL 2 WR;G4

  ,!Y WALK AL;G A R[ ( GAME BOO?S1 T[>D
! RIDES4 ,\ (! CORN] ( 8 EYE1 ,HOLLIS C
SEE A T5T )A SIGN T SAYS ,,PSY*IC   #ADG
,,R1D+S4 ,A LADY IS SITT+ "! AT A C>D
TA#1 ) H] H&S FOLD$1 WAIT+--A WOMAN 9 H]
LATE =TIES1 )A L;G1 SOLEMN FACE1 /OIC,Y
WE>+ A %9Y TURBAN1 Z IF X IS AN A6RONT
6H] DIGN;Y4 ,HE HOPES T %E DOESN'T NO-
TICE HM4
  ,HE HAS ALW _H A DR1D ( =TUNE-TELL]S1
& PALM R1D]S1 & S*4 ,HE HAS ALW IMAG9$ T
!Y WD TELL HM "S?+ HE DIDN'T WANT 6"K--T
"S?+ T]RI# 0 GO+ 6HAPP51 T HE 0 GO+ 6DIE
SOON1 T 8 LIFE WD 2 FULL ( SAD;S4 ,MAYBE
X WDN'T 2 "S?+ BAD AT ALL4 ,B ! IDEA ( X
SC>$ HM1 N"E!.S4
  ,P]H ! WOMAN C S5SE ?1 2C %E CALLS \
6HM Z HE WALKS PA/4 8,YR FUTURE1 YR =-
TUNE60 %E %RILLS1 & HE SMILES1 %AK+ 8
H1D BRISKLY3 8,NO ?ANKS60
  8,ONLY FIVE DOLL>S60 ! WOMAN SAYS4 8,I
H IMPORTANT 9=M,N = Y60
  ,F4,D4 HAS /OPP$1 & IS LOOK+ F ! TUR-
BAN$ WOMAN 6,HOLLIS1 & BACK1 HOPE;LLY4
  8,NO1 SORRY10 ,HOLLIS SAYS 6! WOMAN4
,HE SMILES APOLOGETIC,Y4 8,SORRY60
  ,%E SMILES BROADLY4 8,YR SON ?9KS Y
%D10 %E SAYS1 & A4RESSES ,F4,D4     #ADH
8,DON'T Y ?9K YR "F %D "K 8 =TUNE80
  ,HOLLIS LAU<S4 8,Y'RE N PSY*IC60 HE
SAYS4 8,HE'S N MY SON60 ,& !N HE REGRETS
SAY+ ?3 ,! WOMAN LOOKS NONPLUSS$1 &
,F4,D4 SEEMS 6FL9* A LL4 ,X WD H BE5
FUN1 ,HOLLIS ?9KS1 6PRET5D T HE 0
,F4,D4'S "F4 ,! WOMAN LOOKS AT HM /ONI-
LY1 !N TURNS H] ATT5;N 6A GR\P ( TE5AGE
GIRLS4 8,YR FUTURE60 %E CALLS 6!M4 8,I H
IMPORTANT 9=M,N = Y60 ,! GIRLS HESITATE1
GI7L+1 & ,HOLLIS & ,F4,D4 MOVE ON4

  ,"H IS ! B1UTI;L C>\SEL4 ,! HORSES >E
ALL B"RLY COLOR$1 POS$ 9 =MS ( AGIT,N4
,!Y LIFT _! R$ M\?S Z IF CALL+ \1 _!
LEGS CURV$ 96GALLOPS1 _! MANES :IPP+ 9
AN IMAG9>Y W9D4 ,! CALLIOPE PLAYS A TUNE
HE RECOGNIZES B _C PLACE1 "S?+ L 8,A
,BICYCLE ,BUILT = ,TWO10 B N4 ,! RIDE 0
BUILT 9 ! #AHIJ'S1 AC 6! SIGN1 & IS !
OLDE/ C>\SEL / 9 EXI/;E4 ,Z !Y GET ON1
HE SEES ! LL GIRL F ! ,REPTILE ,PETT+
,ZOO1 H] H& & =E>M B&AG$1 SITT+ A FEW
HORSES 9 FRONT ( !M4 ,A WOMAN--H] "M1
PROBABLY--/&S /OIC,Y 2S ! LL        #ADI
GIRL'S HORSE4 ,HE & ,F4,D4 >E A/RIDE _!
/E$S1 SIDE 0SIDE4
  8,"!'S ! LL GIRL :O ALM GOT EAT5 0!
SNAKE10 ,HOLLIS SAYS4 ,HE GE/URES ) 8
*91 & ,F4,D4 LOOKS OV] & NODS 3TEMPLA-
TIVELY4
  8,! SNAKE CDN'T H ACTU,Y ATE H]10
,F4,D4 EXPLA9S4 8,%E 0 WAY TOO BIG40 ,HE
FR[NS1 !N SMILES :5 HE R1LIZES T ,HOLLIS
HAS BE5 MAK+ A JOKE4 8,OH10 HE SAYS4 8,I
GET X40 ,HE B1MS AT ,HOLLIS =A MO;T4
  8,D Y ?9K X WD HURT10 ,HOLLIS SAYS4
8,6BE SWALL[$84
  8,OH1 Y1H10 ,F4,D4 SAYS4 8,BIG "T4 ,!
SNAKE'S MUSCLES 3TRACT & X CRU%ES & SUF-
FOCATES Y ) XS COILS4 ,E "T Y TRY 6BR1!1
X TI<T5S XS COILS1 S F9,Y YR LUNGS C'T
EXP&40
  8,Y "K A LOT AB SNAKES10 ,HOLLIS SAYS1
& ,F4,D4 GAZES AT HM S]I\SLY4
  8,I "K10 ,F4,D4 SAYS4 ,HE HAS TOLD
,HOLLIS 2F T HE WANTS 6BE A SCI5TI/ :5
HE GR[S UP--A H]PETOLOGI/1 : IS A ^W
,HOLLIS _HN'T EV5 HE>D ( 2F1 B : M1NS A
P]SON :O /UDIES REPTILES4 ,LOOK+    #AEJ
AT ,F4,D4 N[1 ,HOLLIS C SEE ! SCI5TI/ 9
8 FACE4 ,"! IS A K9D ( DIGNIFI$ 9T5S;Y T
,HOLLIS ADMIRES4 8,UNCLE ,HOLLIS10
,F4,D4 SAYS AF A PAUSE4 8,C ,I ASK Y "S-
?+80
  8,SURE1 KI4O4 ,ANY?+40
  8,IS MY DAD RE,Y -+ HOME80
  ,HOLLIS WAITS A MO;T4 ,! BOY'S SCRUT9Y
IS H>D 6LIE TO4 8,I DON'T RE,Y "K1
,F4,D410 ,HOLLIS SAYS4 ,HE HESITATES4 ,!
C>\SEL HAS 2GUN 6MOVE1 & _! HORSES DIP &
RISE 9 "T 6! CALLIOPE MUSIC4 ,HE WAITS1
FEEL+ ! /1DY1 9SI/5T VELOC;Y Z !Y MOVE 9
_! CIRCLE4 ,HE ?9KS ( ,WAYNE--\ "!1 "S-
":1 DRIV+1 SLEEP+ 9 ! PASS5G] S1T ( 8 C>
AT "S RE/ /OP AL;G ! 9T]/ATE1 A ,WAYNE
HE "KS & YET DOESN'T "K4 ,HE'S N"E -+
BACK1 ,HOLLIS ?9KS4
  ,:5 !Y GET (F ! C>\SEL1 ,F4,D4 IS QUI-
ET1 LO/ 9 ?"\1 & ,HOLLIS ?9KS T X MI<T 2
BE/ 6BACKTRACK1 6TAKE BACK ! D\BT HE HAS
PLANT$1 6REASSURE ! BOY4 ,B HE'S N SURE
(! "R ?+ 6SAY4 ,AF A MO;T1 HE R1*ES OV]
& BRU%ES 8 H& OV] ! BACK ( ,F4,D4'S
NECK4                               #AEA
  ,!Y SIT "! =A "T1 NE> ! C>\SEL1 WAT*+
P PASS3 *N AWA% 9 ! URG5CY ( HAV+ FUN1
P>5TS FOLL[+ 2H ) 9DULG5T1 SLEEPWALK+
EXPRES.NS4 ,HE "KS T !Y _C S5SE ! DULL
PANIC T HAS 2GUN 6?ROB >.D HM1 B1T+ "T
6! 4TANT *URN (! CALLIOPE4 ,B X SEEMS Z
IF X M/ B VISI#1 L A RA% ON 8 SK94
  ,9 8 J\RNAL HE WD WRITE3 ..,"H IS
,F4,D4 SITT+ 9 ! GRASS4 ,HE IS QUIET1
PETT+ 8 /U6$ SNAKE4 ,HE WON ! SNAKE AT !
C>NIVAL1 0?R[+ A D>T AT ! BALLOON4 ,HE
LOOKS AT ! SNAKE Z IF HE IS GO+ 6TALK TO
X1 B HE DOESN'T SAY A .^W4
  ,9 HI< S*OOL HE _H A T1*] :O ?"\ HE 0
A GD WRIT]4 8,Y H A GD EYE10 ! T1*] SD1
8B Y $ITORIALIZE TOO M*4 ,LET ! DETAIL
SP1K = XF40 ,! T1*] _H GIV5 HM A /ORY BY
,HEM+WAY 6R1D1 : HE _HN'T "U/OOD1 B HE
?"\ HE "U/OOD :AT ! T1*] 0 SAY+4 ,X MADE
S5SE4
  ,ONCE1 :5 HE 0 9 N9? GRADE & ,WAYNE 0
A JUNIOR 9 COLLEGE1 HE _H -E 96HIS ROOM
& F.D ,WAYNE R1D+ 8 J\RNAL4 ,WAYNE 0
HOME F COLLEGE = ,*RI/MAS1 & ,JILL 0 ALR
PREGNANT ) ,F4,D41 ?\< !Y DIDN'T    #AEB
"K X AT ! "T4 ,WAYNE WD SOON DROP \1 ?\<
!Y DIDN'T "K T EI4 ,AT T MO;T1 !Y 7 J
BRO!RS1 & ,HOLLIS /OOD "! 9 ! DOORWAY1
HORRIBLY EMB>RASS$ Z ,WAYNE LOOK$ UP1
SMIL+ T "K+1 HALF-ADULT SMILE1 HOLD+ !
J\RNAL LOOSELY 9 8 H&4
  8,HEY10 ,WAYNE SD4 8,? IS PRETTY GD60
  8,Y1H1 WELL10 ,HOLLIS SD1 & FLU%$ A
BIT AT ! FLATT]Y1 DESPITE HMF4 8,X'S AL
K9D ( PRIVATE40
  8,:Y80 ,WAYNE SD4 8,Y DON'T H ANY?+ TO
2 %Y AB4 ,? IS RE,Y NICE /UFF4 ,I'M IM-
PRESS$4 ,I ?9K X WD 2 BETT] IF Y TI$ ?+S
TGR M1 ?\<40
  ,! ?"\ ( IMPRESS+ ,WAYNE S ?RILL$ HM T
! S5SE ( 9VA.N & HUMILI,N 0 QUELL$1 MO-
;T>ILY4 ,B HE 0 CAUTI\S1 ?9K+ X MI<T ON-
LY 2 AN ELABORATE MOCK]Y4 ,ONCE1 :5
,HOLLIS 0 T51 ,WAYNE _H 3V9C$ HM T HE 0
ADOPT$4 ,& ?\< ,WAYNE _H EV5TU,Y BE5 =C$
6RECANT1 ,HOLLIS / _H D\BTS4 ,HE HAS
D\BTS1 EV5 N[4
  8,X'S J = ME10 ,HOLLIS SD4 8,I DON'T
WANT ANY"O ELSE 6R1D X4 ,I DON'T WANT
ANY"O ELSE 6"K :AT ,I ?9K40         #AEC
  ,WAYNE _H SMIL$4 ,WAYNE / ?"\1 !N1 T
HE 0 GO+ 62COME A FAM\S LAWY]1 & HE
_HN'T YET 5VI.N$ A LIFE ) ,JILL &
,F4,D41 "W+ =! C.TY Z A CL]K 9 ! C\RT-
H\SE4 ,WAYNE CDN'T IMAG9E :AT X WD 2 L
6N WANT O!RS 6"K :AT HE ?"\4 8,HOLLIS10
HE SD1 -B+ 8 F+]S "? 8 BANGS4 8,T'S /U-
PID4 ,:Y WD Y WRITE /UFF D[N IF NOBODY'S
GO+ 6R1D X80
  8.,I R1D X10 ,HOLLIS SD4 8,T'S ALL4 ,J
ME40
  ,& ,WAYNE %OOK 8 H1D4 8,T DOESN'T MAKE
ANY S5SE40
  8,I SEE :AT Y M1N10 ,HOLLIS _H SD4 ,B
AFW1 HE />T$ HID+ ! ?+2 HE / HIDES X1 AT
! BOTTOM ( 8 SOCK DRAW]1 EV5 ?\< HE
LIVES AL"O4 ,YE>S LAT]1 :5 !Y 7 SITT+ \
9 ! G>AGE1 ,WAYNE _H ASK$ HM IF HE /
WROTE 9 A J\RNAL4
  8,NO10 ,HOLLIS SD1 ?\< HE SELDOM LI$4
8,I J LO/ 9T]E/40
  8,HOLLIS US$ 6BE A RE,Y GD WRIT]10
,WAYNE TOLD ,JILL4
  8,I 2LIEVE X10 ,JILL SD1 & ,HOLLIS 0
SURE !N T !Y RE,Y LOV$ HM4 ,X 0     #AED
"O ( ^? MO;TS HE WD -E BACK TO--,WAYNE &
,JILL SMIL+ AT HM K9DLY1 _! LOVE = EA*
O!R EXT5D+ & 5COMPASS+ HM4 ,WAYNE RE/$ A
H& ON "O ( ,HOLLIS'S KNEES1 & ,JILL RE/$
H] H& ON ! O!R1 & !Y ALL L1N$ CLOSE4 ,N[
HE WOND]S IF ? M1NT ANY?+ 6!M1 IF !Y EV5
REMEMB]$ X4

  8,F4,D4 '''0 HE SAYS4 ,HE HAS BE5 SIT-
T+ "! SIL5T =A :ILE1 ?9K+1 MULL+ ?+S
OV]1 & HE "KS T ,F4,D4 WANTS HM 6EXPLA9
?+S4 8,Y "K1 ! TRU? IS10 HE SAYS4 8,!
TRU? IS1 ,I RE,Y DON'T "K :AT'S GO+ ON )
YR DAD4 ,NOBODY HAS TOLD ME ANY?+40
  8,": IS HE80 ,F4,D4 SAYS4
  ,HOLLIS SWALL[S1 ?9KS4 8,I DON'T "K10
HE SAYS4
  ,F4,D4 SAYS NO?+1 & ,HOLLIS FEELS SOR-
RY4 ,HE WD L 6BE A R1L UNCLE1 "S"O :O CD
EXPLA9 ! _W 6,F4,D41 "S"O :O CD MAKE
S5SE ( X4
  8,HE RAN AWAY F HOME1 DIDN'T HE80
,F4,D4 SAYS4
  8,YES10 ,HOLLIS SAYS4
  8,I KNEW T10 ,F4,D4 SAYS4 ,HE     #AEE
SI<S H1VILY1 & ,HOLLIS PUTS 8 H& ON
,F4,D4'S NECK1 LETT+ X RE/ "!1 W>M &--HE
HOPES--COM=T+4
  8,I'LL ALW 2 "H1 ?\<10 ,HOLLIS SAYS4
8,I WON'T L1VE Y40 ,HE M1NS X4 ,B HE IS
AL N]V\S4 ,:AT HAS HE D"O8 ,HE HASN'T
?"\ \ ! 3SEQU;ES CLE>LY1 & N[ A GRAY UN-
C]TA9TY 2G9S 6GLIDE "? HM4 ,HE ?9KS TO
SAY1 8,DON'T TELL YR MOM Y "K10 B HE "KS
T X WD 2 WR;G4 ,!N HE R1LIZES :AT HE %D
H SD 9 ! F/ PLACE3 .,ASK .YR ."M4
  8,Y %D TALK 6YR MOM AB X10 HE SAYS4
8,IF Y ''' WELL1 IF Y DON'T M5;N T ,I
TOLD Y1 T MI<T 2 BE/4 ,I M1N1 MAYBE %E
WDN'T H WANT$ ME 6BE ! F/ "O 6SAY "S?+
'''40 ,HE HESITATES 2C HE C'T R1D :AT'S
2H ,F4,D4'S H1VY EXPRES.N4 8,I'M N SAY+
Y %D LIE OR ANY?+4 ,Y %DN'T LIE 6YR
MOM40
  8,WELL10 ,F4,D4 SAYS1 8%E LI$ 6ME40
,HE LOOK$ AT ,HOLLIS %>PLY4 8,%E LIES
ALL ! "T40
  8,NO1 %E DOESN'T10 ,HOLLIS SAYS1 B N
9SI/5TLY4 ,HE IS TRY+ 6IMAG9E H[ ,JILL W
REACT4 ,HE IS AW>E N[ T HE HAS      #AEF
2TRAY$ H]1 ?"\.SLY1 T HE HAS TROD 96A
PLACE ": HE DOESN'T 2L;G AT ALL4 ,HE HAS
ALW TRI$ 6?9K C>E;LLY AB "R & WR;G1 B (-
T5 ! GRAY >1S O!R P SEE >E 9VISI# 6HM4
,HE WOND]S IF %E W 2 ANGRY4 ,HE IMAG9ES
H] SAY+1 8,H[ D>E Y TELL ,F4,D4 S* A ?+4
,H[ D>E Y MAKE ME LOOK L A LI>6 ,:AT
MAKES Y ?9K Y "K ANY?+ AB X60 ,HE CR+ES4
,& !N HE ?9KS1 ,:AT IF ,WAYNE RE,Y DOES
-E BACK8 ,!N HE W H D"O A TRULY AW;L ?+4
,!N HE W H DAMAG$ ,WAYNE'S REL,N%IP )
,F4,D4 ,NO MATT] :AT HAPP5S1 ,HOLLIS
?9KS1 HE HAS P]MAN5TLY ALT]$ ?+S 2T !M1
& HE FEELS A SL[ "UT[ ( DR1D4 ,"EY"O IS
GO+ 6BE 4GU/$ ) HM1 FURI\S4 ,HE C IMAG9E
DOORS CLOS+ P]MAN5TLY1 8 EXCUR.NS )
,F4,D4 5D+1 2COM+ UNWELCOME AT ,WAYNE &
,JILL'S H\SE4 ,HE & ,F4,D4 LOOK AT EA*
O!R1 & HE SEES T ,F4,D4 IS QUAV]+ ON !
$GE ( TE>S4
  8,OH1 ,F4,D410 HE SAYS4 8,DON'T CRY4
,PL1SE DON'T CRY40
  ,& ,F4,D4 DOESN'T4 ,!Y GET UP & 2G9 TO
WALK1 & HE FEELS HUM# & CLUMSY 9 ! WAKE
( ,F4,D4'S *URN+ ?"\S4 ,T]RI#1      #AEG
T]RI#1 T]RI#1 HE ?9KS4 ,HE WANTS 6SLAP
HMF4
  8,F4,D410 HE SAYS AF A :ILE4 8,I ?9K
,I'VE MADE A T]RI# MISTAKE4 ,I'M ?9K+ T
,I %DN'T H TOLD Y :AT ,I TOLD Y40
  8,I "K10 ,F4,D4 SAYS4 ,HE IS GRIM1 ?\<
!Y >E WALK+ "? A R[ ( B"R BOO?S1 "? !
HAWK]S' PROMISES ( PRIZES & FUN4 ,HE
%AKES 8 H1D H1VILY4
  8,H[ D Y "K80
  ,F4,D4 %RUGS4 8,I J D4 ,MOM WDN'T H
WANT$ Y 6TELL ME4 ,%E'LL 2 MAD1 WON'T
%E80
  8,%E %D 2 MAD10 ,HOLLIS SD4 8,I DID
"S?+ T 0 RE,Y WR;G40
  8,OH10 ,F4,D4 SAYS4 ,HE SEEMS 63SID] ?
=A MO;T4 8,:Y 7 Y WR;G80
  8,2C YR MOM TRU/$ ME N 6SAY ANY?+4 ,&
,I LET H] D[N40 ,HE ?9KS =A MO;T1 TRY+
6EXPLA9 X CLE>LY4 8,X'S L T LL GIRL &!
SNAKE4 ,%E'LL N"E TRU/ T SNAKE AG4 ,Y
SEE80
  8,OH10 ,F4,D4 SAYS4 8,Y1H40 ,& ,HOLLIS
R1LIZES AF A MO;T T ! ANALOGY IS UNCLE>2
X DOESN'T MAKE A LOT ( S5SE4 ,HE    #AEH
LAPSES AG 96?"\1 LOOK+ AH1D 6A GR\P ( P
2G9N+ 6GA!R >.D ": ! MOTORCYCLE SITS ON
A /AGE4 ,! /AGE IS FE/OON$ ) SCALLOP$
RI2ONS & ,*9ESE LANT]NS2 T9Y 4CO BALLS
FRACTURE ! LI<T 96SPANGLES T GLIMM]
BRILLIANTLY ON ! MOTORCYCLE'S *ROME1 &
_! FACES4
  8,UNCLE ,HOLLIS10 ,F4,D4 SAYS4 8,:O D
Y LOVE M8 ,MY MOM OR ME80
  8,Y10 ,HOLLIS SAYS4 ,HE DOESN'T EV5 H
6?9K4 8,I LOVE Y M ?AN ANY"O ELSE 9 !
_W4 ,T'S :Y ,I'M SORRY T ,I DID A WR;G
?+4 ,I DIDN'T WANT 6MAKE Y SAD40
  8,T'S OKAY10 ,F4,D4 SAYS4 ,& HE R1*ES
UP & RUBS AG/ ,HOLLIS'S >M1 & ,HOLLIS C
FEEL ! EAG];S ( 8 A6EC;N4 ,I H PUT HM 9
A T]RI# POSI;N1 ,HOLLIS ?9KS4 ,B HE
DOESN'T "K :AT HE C D AB X4
  ,=! LA/ MON?1 ,HOLLIS HAS BE5 TRY+ TO
REMEMB] ! LA/ ?+ ,WAYNE SD 6HM4 ,X 0
PROBABLY "S?+ MUNDANE--8,GD-BYE10 OR 8,S
L;G10 OR 8,SEE Y >.D0--B ( C\RSE1 GIV5 T
,WAYNE WD 4APPE> A FEW "DS LAT]1 EV5 ^!
PL1SANTRIES >E POT5TI,Y H1VY ) M1N+4 ,B
HE C'T RECALL4 ,X 0 AN ORD9>Y       #AEI
EV5+1 L ANY O!R4 ,HE & ,WAYNE _H BE5
DR9K+ BE] 9 ! G>AGE1 & ,JILL _H /AY$ 9 !
H\SE1 WAT*+ ,,TV4 ,%E (T5 DID ?4 8,Y NE$
YR ,8BOY "T0' TGR10 %E'D ALW SD1 IRONI-
C,Y1 ?\< ,HOLLIS ALW LIK$ X BE/ :5 %E
SAT ) !M & JO9$ 9 ! 3V]S,N4
  ,B 9 ANY CASE1 "! 0 NO?+ 69DICATE T
,WAYNE 0 PLANN+ 6L1VE4 ,:AT DID !Y TALK
AB8 ,MOVIES1 MO/LY1 Z ,HOLLIS REMEMB]$4
,!Y TALK$ AB A REC5T PLANE CRA%1 9
,SCOTL&1 T _H BE5 ALL OV] ! NEWS2 !
PLANE MI<T H BE5 D[N$ 0A T]RORI/ BOMB
PLANT$ 9 ! LU7AGE4 ,HOLLIS REMEMB]$ ?
ONLY N[4 ,! OP]ATOR (! ,HAMM]H1D _H BR"\
X BACK 6HM1 & HE RECALLS ,WAYNE M5;N+ X4
8,:AT D Y ?9K GOES "? YR M9D :5 Y'RE GO+
D[N L T8 ,:5 Y "K Y'RE GO+ 6DIE80
  8,I DON'T "K10 ,HOLLIS SD4 8,B Y "K
:AT ,I'D 2 ?9K+8 ,I'D 2 ?9K+1 ,8,? IS
GO+ 6RE,Y1 RE,Y HURT60'0
  ,WAYNE _H LAU<$ AT T1 & _H TOLD ! OLD
JOKE !Y BO? LOV$ 9 *ILDHOOD3 8;,Q3
,:AT'S ! LA/ ?+ T GOES "? A MOSQUITO'S
M9D :5 HE HITS YR W9D%IELD8 ;,A3 ,8
BUTT40 ,& !Y'D LAU<$ "S M1 FULL (   #AFJ
BE] & DUMB CAM>AD]IE4
  ,& X /RIKES HM SU45LY1 A H1VY BL[4
,WAYNE .KNEW HE 0 L1V+1 EV5 Z !Y SAT "!
LAU<+ & TELL+ /ALE JOKES4 ,B HE WD N"E H
TOLD ,HOLLIS4 ,HOLLIS C SEE HMF Z !Y SEE
HM1 EV5 Z !Y >E MAK+ _! SECRET PLANS &
LIV+ _! SECRET LIVES4 ,HE IS A 4TRAC;N
6!M1 AN AMUSE;T1 & HE "U/&S ,WAYNE'S OC-
CA.NAL FLA%ES ( ANG]1 TOO--HE C SEE HMF
Z ,WAYNE SAW HM1 FULL ( E>NE/1 9NOC5T
/UPID;Y1 *ATT]+ VACANTLY AB ! 8WEIRD ?+S
HE'D NOTIC$10 N "S"O :O _H "E RE,Y MAT-
T]$4 ,8 *EEKS GR[ W>M1 & HE WI%ES T HE'D
RESPOND$ 6,WAYNE'S "Q M S]I\SLY4 ..,:AT
GOES "? YR M9D :5 Y "K Y'RE GO+ 6.DIE8
,HE CD H F9,Y TOLD ,WAYNE AB T KID1 T
KID ^: CORPSE FELL A"P :5 HE TRI$ 6PICK
X UP4 ,HE CD H SD A LOT ( ?+S4 ,& MAYBE
!N ,WAYNE WD H RESPECT$ HM4 ,MAYBE
,WAYNE WD H TOLD HM ! TRU?4

  ,HE IS S LO/ 9 ?"\ T :5 ! MAN ON !
/AGE R1DS ! W9N]'S "N1 HE 2G9S 6APPLAUD
)! RE/ (! CR[D 2F HE R1LIZES T ! MAN HAS
J R1D 8 [N "N4                      #AFA
  8,HOLLIS ,M]*ANT60 ! MAN SAYS4 8,IS
,HOLLIS ,M]*ANT 9 ! AUDI;E TD8 ,Y >E !
W9N]60
  ,F4,D4 :OOPS4 8,T'S U6 ,T'S U60 ,&
,HOLLIS IS BR"\ BACK ABRUPTLY F 8 R"EIE4
,! CR[D HAS TURN$ 6LOOK AT HM1 _! EYES
WIDE & EXPECTANT4 ,& MIRACUL\SLY1 ,F4,D4
IS H1L$1 IS MADE :OLE & HAPPY AG4 ,HE IS
JUMP+ UP & D[N4 8,WE WON60 HE CRIES1 8
VOICE %RILL ) EXCITE;T1 & HURLS 8 BODY
AG/ ,HOLLIS'S 9 A R\< D.E ( JOY4 8,Y &
ME1 ,UNCLE ,HOLLIS6 ,REMEMB]8 ,Y & ME60
  ,HOLLIS LIFTS ,F4,D4 ONTO 8 %\LD]S1 &!
WEI<T ( HM SETTLES EASILY 96PLACE4 ,DE-
SPITE "EY?+1 HE C'T HELP FEEL+ PR\D &
HAPPY1 J Z ,F4,D4 DOES4 ,! CR[D APPLAUDS
Z !Y WALK UP 6! /AGE1 PROBABLY ?9K+ T
,F4,D4 IS 8 SON1 & ,HOLLIS IS WILL+ TO
BORR[ ? =! "T 2+4 ,ONCE ,F4,D4 IS ON 8
%\LD]S1 HE C /RIDE 6! /AGE4
  ,& HE HAS A VI.N1 :AT HE %D WRITE 9 8
J\RNAL3 ..,:AT IF Y 2LIEV$ T "EY?+ 9
LIFE 0 L A PRIZE8 ,:AT IF Y ?"\ (! _W Z
A BIG R&OM DRAW+1 & Y 7 ALW W9N+ ?+S1 !
_W (F]+ !M UP )A BIG GR91 L AN      #AFB
EMCEE'S3 ,"H Y G1 ,HOLLIS4 ,"H IS A MO-
TORCYCLE4 ,"H IS A LL BOY T LOVES Y4 ,"H
IS A WEIRD EXP]I;E1 "H IS "S?+ BAD T Y
%D MULL OV] 2C X W MAKE Y A BETT] P]SON4
,:AT IF Y CD ?9K T LIFE 0 ? FREE VAC,N
Y'D WON1 & Y WON J 2C Y HAPP5$ 6BE
.ALIVE8
  ,HE IS N DELUD$4 ,HE C SEE CLE>LY T HE
IS FOOLI%1 T 8 LIFE IS MADE UP (A S]IES
( MU4L$ 9T]PRET,NS & 4TRAC;NS1 T HE
DOESN'T "K ANY?+ AB ! _W HE'S MOV+ 9TO4
,B HE C AL SEE ! TWO ( !M ON T MOTOR-
CYCLE1 9 ^? GOLD5 HELMETS T ,F4,D4 DR1M$
UP1 GO+ "S":4 8,Y & ME10 ,F4,D4 :ISP]S1
&! ROADS >E CLE>1 "! >E GRE5 FIELDS &
WILDFL[]S ON EI SIDE1 &! MOTORCYCLE
SEEMS 6BE DRIV+ XF4 ,HE C EV5 CLOSE 8
EYES =A MO;T1 Z ! W9D & VELOC;Y SWEEP
OV] !M4 ,!Y FLY D[N ! HI<WAY1 CALMLY1
H1D$ (F 6:]"E X W TAKE !M4




    ,,! ,,ILLU/RAT$ ,,5CYCLOP$IA    #AFC
      ,,( ,,! ,,ANIMAL ,,K+DOM

  ,ON ! SECOND FLOOR ( AN OLD ,VICTORIAN
H\SE T HAS BE5 3V]T$ 96T9Y A"P;TS1 ,D5-
NIS DR1MS T HE IS HOLD+ A BABY4 ,! 9FANT
9 ! DR1M IS WRAPP$ 9 A GRAY-BLUE BLAN-
KET1 ) ONLY XS R.D FACE PEEK+ \4 ,D5NIS
C FEEL XS LIMBS SQUIRM+ 2N ! SWA4L+ Z HE
SMOO?S 8 PALM LI<TLY OV] ! 9FANT'S *EEK4
,:5 8 H& T\*ES ! BABY'S SK91 HE WAKES
UP4
  ,ABV HM1 HE HE>S ! WOMAN ON ! ?IRD
FLOOR1 WALK+4 ,H] FLOORBO>DS--HIS CEIL+
--SI< Z %E GOES1 Z IF %E'S /EPP+ OV]
%IFT+ ICE4 ,HE IS AW>E1 EV5 Z HE OP5S 8
EYES1 T ! DR1M IS "PI,Y H]S1 A SE$ %E
HAS PLANT$4 ,HE DOESN'T "K H] RE,Y1 B HE
?9KS AB H] (T54 ,%E WALKS ACR 8 CEIL+ AT
ALL H\RS (! NI<T4 ,9 C]TA9 ROOMS HE W
O3A.N,Y HE> A RADIO PLAY+ ABV HM1 & ON
"S EV5+S IF HE SITS 0! RADIATOR 9 8 B$-
ROOM HE W HE> H] /UMBL+1 SWEETLY AWKW>D
MONOT"O Z %E R1DS H] SON A /ORY4 ,D5NIS
2LIEVES T H] HUSB& HAS LEFT H]4 ,P]H HE
IS D1D4 ,P]H "! N"E 0 A HUSB& TO    #AFD
2G9 )4

  ,X IS ! WOMAN UP/AIRS1 OR ! DR1M1 OR
MAYBE SIMPLY ! FACT T X IS A NEW T[N &
HE "KS NO "O & HE IS TW5TY-FIVE YE>S OLD
& SP5DS F> TOO M* "T 7HE ?9KS7 9 8 [N
H1D1 TOO M* "T LY+ ON 8 B$ 9 8 "UWE> )A
BE] GR[+ W>M ON 8 *E/ Z HE LI/5S4 ,X IS
A -B9,N ( ALL ^! ?+S1 NO D\BT4 ,"S?+
MAKES HM DECIDE 6CALL ! HOSPITAL1 : IS
LOCAT$ 9 ! C;Y T HE LIV$ 9 2F HE MOV$ 6?
NEW "O4 ,HE IS AW>E T X IS FOOLI% 6CALL
! HOSPITAL4 ,B HE J WANTS 6SEE :AT !Y W
SAY4
  ,S HE CALLS "O MORN+ F "W DUR+ 8 LUN*
:5 8 CO"W]S >E \1 !Y ALL SEEM 6H PLACES
6G1 _! "DS FULL ( PURPOSE1 ET CET]A4 ,HE
CALLS & IS TRANSF]R$ S"EAL "TS4 ,:ILE HE
WAITS1 CLASSICAL MUSIC T SEEMS "S:AT FA-
MILI> IS PLAY$ = HM "? ! PH"O L9ES4
  ,! LADY :O F9,Y ANSW]S IS V PROFES.NAL
AB ! :OLE ?+1 V ADM9I/RATIVE4 ,HE HAS
SIGN$ A 3TRACT T IS LEG,Y B9D+1 %E SAYS1
& 7HUNDR$S ( MILES AWAY7 HE NODS E>NE/LY
96! RCVR4 ,I "K T1 HE SAYS4 ,HE     #AFE
EXPLA9S T HE DOESN'T WANT 6CAUSE TR\#1
HE'S J SORT ( CURI\S1 & %E SAYS1 8,T'S
SWEET10 9 A 3DESC5D+ VOICE T SU7E/S T %E
IS PROBABLY PRETTY1 PROBABLY US$ 6TURN+
M5 D[N QKLY & *E];LLY1 A TI<T FAKE SMILE
REDUC+ !M 6A SPECK4 ,D5NIS FEELS HMF
%R9K+4 8,Y M/ GET CALLS L ? ALL ! "T10
HE SAYS APOLOGETIC,Y1 & %E SAYS1 8,NO1
FRANKLY1 ,I DON'T40
  ,WELL1 HE ?9KS :5 %E HANGS UP ! PH"O4
,HE C FEEL HMF BLU%+1 ?\< ( C\RSE NO "O
"KS :OM HE HAS CALL$1 & HE C]TA9LY WON'T
TELL ANY"O4 ,HE FEELS /UPID4

  ,MAYBE X IS /RANGE 6WOND]1 HE ?9KS3
ODD4 ,X WASN'T Z IF "! 7 LOVE 9VOLV$1 N
EV5 PHYSICAL 3TACT1 J AN EASY FIFTY DOL-
L>S HE'D HE>D AB "? A FR :O 0 9 ! F/ YE>
( M$ICAL S*OOL4 ,! FR _H BE5 DO+ X AB
ONCE A WEEK & HE GOT ,D5NIS IN1 ?\< ,D5-
NIS'S VITAL /ATI/ICS1 8 LOOKS & ,,IQ &
EXTRACURRICUL> ACTIVITIES 7 PROBABLY N Z
IMPRESSIVE Z ^? (! M$ICAL S*OOL BOYS4 ,S
MAYBE !Y DIDN'T EV5 USE HIS4 ,HE'D ONLY
D"O X 2C HE RE,Y _H NE$$ ! CA% AT   #AFF
! "T--X 0 8 S5IOR YE> 9 COLLEGE4
  ,:5 HE W5T 9 HE'D FELT V EMB>RASS$4 ,!
NURSE 0 N M* OLD] ?AN HE--A %ORT1 /OCKY
GIRL :O WORE H] HAIR 9 A WAY T MADE HM
?9K MAYBE %E'D _H AN UNHAPPY *ILDHOOD4
,%E CDN'T LOOK AT HM4 ,%E J GAVE HM "S
=MS 6FILL \ ON "O ( ^? CLIPBO>DS )A P5
HANG+ ON A B1D$ METAL *A9 L ! K9D T IS
ATTA*$ 6BA?TUB DRA9 PLUGS4 ,HE TURN$ 9 !
PAP]"W &! NURSE L$ HM D[N A HOSPITAL-
SMELL+ CORRIDOR1 BO? ( !M %Y1 SIL;E
TRAIL+ D[N ! L;G HALLWAY UNTIL !Y CAME
6A HALT 9 FRONT (A LL BA?ROOM4 ,%E GAVE
HM A K9D ( TE/ TUBE )A SCREW-ON LID &
CLE>$ H] ?ROAT1 %IFT+ H] WEI<T 9 ^?
*UNKY :ITE %OES1 & %E OP5$ A DOOR & SD T
"! 7 "S MAGAZ9ES HE CD LOOK AT IF HE
WI%$4 ,%E MI<T H US$ ! ^W 8P]USE40
  ,HE GL.ED 9 & "! 7 "S OLD .,PLAYBOY &
.,P5TH\SE MAGAZ9ES ON ! TA# NEXT 6! TOI-
LET4 ,HE NO4$1 N MEET+ H] EYES4 ,:AT 0
"! 6SAY8 ,! NURSE 0 TRY+ 6BE PROFES.NAL
AB X1 B HE CD SEE %E 0 SECRETLY MORTIFI$
2H H] NURSE FACADE1 & :5 HE TRI$ 6SMILE
IRONIC,Y %E J CLE>$ H] ?ROAT AG &   #AFG
LEFT 9 A HURRY4 ,POOR GIRL1 HE ?"\4
  ,X 0 /RANGE1 2C X 0 %E1 ! NURSE1 :OM
HE 5D$ UP ?9K+ ( R ?AN ! C5T]FOLDS ) _!
TAWNY UNR1L %APES & UNM>K$ EXPRES.NS4
,:5 HE BR"\ 8 TE/ TUBE \ & GAVE X 6H] HE
FELT A SORT ( REGRET %U4] "? HM4 ,H]
EYES 7 S SAD T HE 0 SURE =A MO;T T %E
KNEW HE'D BE5 ?9K+ ( H]4 ,HE "S"TS ?"\ T
ANY BABY T CAME \ ( X M/ 2 Z M* T
NURSE'S Z X 0 8 [N4

  ,HE F9DS X DI6ICULT 6TRULY 2LIEVE T "!
IS A BABY1 B X'S "S?+ HE ?9KS AB "S"TS4
,X'S 9T]E/+ IMAG9+ "S"O--MAYBE AN 9F]-
TILE C\PLE OR P]H A S+LE WOMAN :O HAS "S
M"OY--"S"O GO+ "? PAGES ( DESCRIP;NS &
DECID+ ON HM4 ,MAYBE HE HAS ! N,NAL;Y !Y
>E LOOK+ =1 ! COLOR ( HAIR OR EYES1 OR
"O (! A3OMPLI%;TS HE'S WRITT5 D[N--HIS
W9N+ ! /ATE SPELL+ BEE 9 HI< S*OOL1 8
ABILITIES 9 BASEBALL1 8 COLLEGE MAJOR--
ATTRACTS !M 9 "S WAY1 & !Y SAY1 8,? IS !
"O40 ,HE WOND]S IF T'S H[ X "WS4 ,HE
LIKES 6IMAG9E T "! IS ! POSSIBIL;Y (A
P]SON \ "!4 ,! P]SON MI<T H A       #AFH
C]TA9 %APE ( FACE OR F+]S1 OR A C]TA9
WAY ( SMIL+4 ,HE OR %E MI<T EV5 EV5TU,Y
H C]TA9 MOODS--A "PICUL>LY VAGUE & WAT]Y
MELAN*OLY FEEL+ "S"TS--2C ( HM4 ,HE
DOESN'T "K :Y HE WANTS S BADLY = ? 6BE
TRUE4

  ,X'S SUMM]4 ,CICADAS FILL ! AIR ) AN
9T]MITT5T /ATIC1 & 9 ! WEEKS T FOLL[ HE
(T5 SEES !M 9 ! MORN+1 9 ! T9Y BACKY>D \
2H _! A"P;T H\SE1 8 UP/AIRS NEI<BOR & H]
SON1 :O M/ 2 AB F\R1 A ?91 DEEP-EY$ KID
)A H1D L A BABY BIRD4 ,D5NIS GAZES D[N
AT !M1 WAT*+ Z ! BOY BUILDS "S?+ ) MUD &
/ICKS 9 ! CORN] 0! F;E2 WAT*+ Z ! BOY
R1DS 8 BOOKS3 ..,! ,ILLU/RAT$ ,5CYCLOPE-
DIA (! ,ANIMAL .,K+DOM4 ,ON ! COV]1 "!
>E DRAW+S (A SNAKE1 A ZEBRA1 A P>ROT1 A
BEETLE1 ALL ! SAME SIZE4
  ,! WOMAN SITS QUIETLY1 SMOK+4 ,%E RUNS
H] F+]S ?"\;LLY AL;G ! SIDE ( H] B>E
FOOT1 H] CURL+-IRON HAIR1 CRU%$ FLAT 9 !
BACK ": %E'S SLEPT ON X4 ,:5 HE ?9KS (
H] FACE 9 8 M9D1 X LOOKS H>D & MELAN*OLY
& ALM CRUEL 2C (! TRACES ( MAKEUP   #AFI
T REMA9 >.D H] LIPS & EYES4 ,%E EXHALES
SMOKE4

  ,ON ! "D HE MADE 8 PH"O CALL 6! HOS-
PITAL1 HE HAPP5$ 6BE WALK+ HOME F "W &
HE F.D A BOX ( BOOKS4 ,! BOX _H BE5 PUT
\ 0! CURB =! TRA% MAN 6PICK UP1 "R \T-
SIDE A BIG OLD H\SE T LOOK$ "S?+ L 8 EX-
CEPT X _HN'T BE5 SPLIT UP 96A"P;TS4 ,"!
0 NO?+ WR;G )! BOOKS T HE CD SEE--AN OLD
SET ( *N'S 5CYCLOP$IAS1 N A -PLETE SET B
NICE N"O!.S1 ) B1UTI;L PHOTOGRAPHS4 ,X
DIDN'T EV5 LOOK L !Y'D BE5 R1D6 ,HE
GL.ED >.D 6SEE T NO "O 0 LOOK+ & !N HE
LIFT$ ! BOX & C>RI$ X HOME4
  ,AF D9N] T EV5+1 HE _H G"O UP ! /AIRS
)! BOX & KNOCK$ ON ! WOMAN'S DOOR4
  8,I F.D ?10 HE SD1 %[+ H] ! BOOKS &
SMIL+ %EEPI%LY4 8,I'VE HE>D Y R1D+ 6YR
SON & ,I ?"\ X WD 2 "S?+ HE WD 5JOY40
  ,HE'D PRACTIC$ ? %ORT SPEE* S"EAL "TS1
B AF X LEFT 8 M\? HE R1LIZ$ T X 0 A MIS-
TAKE 6SAY T HE'D HE>D H] R1D+4 ,H] EYES
N>R[$ A BIT1 SUSPICI\SLY1 & :5 %E L1N$
D[N 6LOOK AT ! TITLES (! BOOKS1     #AGJ
%E WR9KL$ H] NOSE4 ,HE 0 AW>E T !Y
SMELL$ A LL L A BASE;T4
  8,HE'S A LL "Y = 5CYCLOP$IAS10 %E SD1
& ,D5NIS %IFT$ 8 WEI<T4 ,! BOOKS 7 H1VY4
  8,WELL10 HE SD4 8,!Y'VE GOT NICE PIC-
TURES40
  8,HMM10 %E SD4 ,%E LOOK$ HM OV] AG1 &
HE SAW H] EYES -E 6A DECI.N4 ,IF !Y 7 TO
FALL 9 LOVE1 ,D5NIS ?"\1 X WD N"E "W \4
,%E SAW "S?+ ESS5TIAL AB HM T %E CD N"E
LE>N 6L4 ,HE DIDN'T "K :AT X WAS1 EXACT-
LY1 B HE CD FEEL X 9 ! AIR >.D HM1 L A
SMELL--A "PICUL> TRI7] : HE LACK$--A
W9K+ TYPE ( 3FID;E1 OR BODY HAIR1 OR A
TEMP]4 ,:AT"E X WAS4
  8,IF Y WANT 6L1VE !M10 %E SD1 8T'S
OKAY4 ,I M1N1 HE'LL PROBABLY J WRECK !M4
,COLOR 9 !M & /UFF4 ,Y CD SELL !M10 %E
SD4 ,%E %RU7$1 & PUT A H& AG/ H] HAIR4
8,Y DON'T H KIDS ( YR [N10 %E SD4
  8,NO40 ,HE SMIL$1 HESITAT+ 2C %E MADE
NO MOVE 6TAKE ! BOX4 ,HE BRAC$ X AG/ 8
HIP4 8,NO1 N RE,Y10 HE SD ?"\;LLY4 ,&
!N1 AF A SECOND HE R1LIZ$ T ? 0 AN ODD
?+ 6SAY4 8,I GUESS ,I MI<T H        #AGA
KIDS10 HE SD1 8B N"O T ,I "K (40
  8,OH10 %E SD1 & !N %E LAU<$ %ORTLY4
8,Y'RE "O ( ^?1 HUH80 ,%E LOOK$ AT HM =A
MO;T ) "S?+ L1 :AT8 ,FLIRT,N8 ,S>CASM8
,"S?+ FAMILI> B N Q FRLY4 ,HE CDN'T
TELL1 B X MADE HM BLU%4 ,HE SET ! BOX
D[N4
  8,NO10 HE SD4 8,NO1 X'S '''0 &=A MO;T
HE ACTU,Y 3SID]$ TELL+ H] AB ! HOSPITAL
&! RE/1 ?\< HE KNEW T WD 2 WORSE1 AT T
PO9T1 ?AN J LETT+ H] ?9K :AT %E WANT$4
  8,X'S -PLICAT$10 HE SD4
  8,UH-HUH10 %E SD4 ,%E GAVE HM T SAME
LOOK AG1 & HE WAT*$ H] ?9K+2 A :OLE COM-
PLEX SET ( ?+S 7 PASS+ "? H] M9D4 ,%E
DID N 2LIEVE T HE 0 ! TYPE1 & %E WOND]$1
BRIEFLY1 :Y HE WD SAY S* A /RANGE ?+1
:AT HE RE,Y M1NT4 ,%E ?"\ ( H] SON'S "F1
OR MAYBE %E DIDN'T4 ,%E OP5$ ! DOOR A LL
M1 & ,D5NIS CD SEE ! BOY 9SIDE1 SITT+
CROSS-LE7$ 9 FRONT (! TELEVI.N1 8 FACE
LIT UNNATUR,Y Z HE TROTT$ A PLA/IC ELE-
PHANT AL;G ! C>PET4 ,X WD H BE5 N1T IF !
BOY SU45LY TURN$ 6LOOK AT HM1 B HE DID
N4                                  #AGB
  8,WELL10 ! WOMAN SD4 8,?ANKS40

  ,:5 ,D5NIS F/ MOV$ 96! A"P;T1 ! LL BOY
UP/AIRS 0 GO+ "? A P]IOD ( HAV+ BAD
NI<TM>ES4 ,! * WD WAKE UP SCR1M+1 &(
C\RSE ,D5NIS WD AWAK5 Z WELL4 8,HELP
ME60 ,D5NIS ?"\ HE CD HE> ! * CRY+4
8,HELP ME60 ,AT LA/1 ,D5NIS WD HE> !
WOMAN'S FOOT/EPS1 & !N H] VOICE1 G5TLE &
TIR$4 8,HU%10 %E 0 PROBABLY SAY+4 8,X'S
OKAY4 ,X'S OKAY4 ,2 / N[40 ,& !N1 AF A
"T1 %E WD 2G9 6S+4
  ,HE DOESN'T "K :Y ? _H A6ECT$ HM S1 !
S.D ( H] S++1 B HE C REMEMB] %U4]+4 ,HE
_H CURL$ UP A LL M1 ?9K+1 8,:AT IS X8
,:AT'S WR;G ) ME80 & TRY+ 6DECIDE T X 0
SIMPLE1 T X 0 ORD9>Y L"OLI;S1 2+ 4ORI5T$
9 A NEW PLACE1 BOXES / N UNPACK$1 8 FAM-
ILY F> AWAY1 8 [N "F1 D1D A FEW YE>S N[1
BURI$ 9 A CEMET]Y "S ?\S& MILES 4TANT4
  ,B X _H FELT1 AT T MO;T1 T "! 0 "S?+
WR;G )! _W XF4 ,HE CD H SWORN HE KNEW 9
8 HE>T T "S?+ T]RI# _H HAPP5$ 6! _W1 & T
"EY"O KNEW X B HM4
           ,,AM;G ,,! ,,MISS+       #AGC

  ,MY "M [N$ A LAKEFRONT CAB91 N F> F ":
! BODIES 7 4COV]$4 ,%E WAT*$ F ! BACK
POR* :5 ! C> 0 PULL$ \ (! WAT]4 ,%E CD
HE> ! /1DY CLICK+ (! BIG T[ *A9 E*O+ AG/
! / SURFACE (! LAKE4 ,BR[N-GRAY WAT]
GU%$ F ! W9D[S & TRUNK & HOOD Z ! C>
ROSE UP4 ,! W9D[S 7 "PWAY OP51 & MY "M'S
F/ ?"\ 0 T ANIMALS 7 PROBABLY 9 ! C> AL3
SUCK]S & C>P & CATFI% & CRAWDADS--SCAV5-
G]S4 ,! :ITE BODY (! C> 0 /R1K$ ) TRAIL+
WISPS ( ALGAE4 ,%E TURN$ AWAY Z ! PO-
LICEM5 GA!R$ >.D4

  ,"! 0 A FAMILY 9 ! C>3 ! ,MORRISONS4
,A "M & "F1 A SEV5-YE>-OLD GIRL1 A FIVE-
YE>-OLD BOY1 &A BABY1 A LL BOY1 ?IRTE5
MON?S OLD4 ,!Y _H BE5 MISS+ S9CE LATE
,MAY1 OV] SIX WEEKS1 &! MY/]Y _H BE5 9 !
PAP]S =A :ILE4 ,P >.D T[N REPORT$ HAV+
SE5 !M1 B NO "O _H TAK5 M* NOTICE4 ,!Y 7
A TYPICAL FAMILY1 APP>5TLY1 NO DI6]5T F
! HUNDR$S T PASS$ "? DUR+ ! SUMM] MON?S4
,LAKE ,MC,CONAU<Y 0 ! L>GE/ LAKE 9
,NEBRASKA1 "O (! L>GE/ MAN-MADE     #AGD
LAKES 9 ! 5TIRE ,MIDWE/1 & X DREW N ONLY
LOCALS B AL VAC,N]S F ,OMAHA & ,D5V] &
EV5 F>!R4 ,:5 ! POLICE CAME >.D )! PIC-
TURES1 P .?"\ !Y _H SE5 !M1 B !Y CDN'T 2
SURE4 ,! 9VE/IG,N 0 BO7$ D[N 0\R T[N'S
UNC]TA9 MEMORY4 ,X DIDN'T O3UR 6ANY"O TO
DRAG ! LAKE1 ESPECI,Y S9CE REPORT$ SI<T-
+S 3T9U$ 6-E 9 F Z F> AWAY Z ,OKLAHOMA &
,CANADA4 ,MO/ P 2LIEV$ T !Y WD TURN UP1
& T "! WD 2 "S R,NAL EXPLAN,N--DESPITE !
CLAIMS (! GR&"M1 :O LIV$ 9 ,LOVEL&1
,COLORADO1 & :O _H F/ REPORT$ ! FAMILY
MISS+4 ,%E FELT F\L PLAY 0 C]TA9LY IN-
VOLV$4 ,:Y ELSE _HN'T !Y 3TACT$ H]8 ,:Y
ELSE _H ! "F1 H] SON1 N RETURN$ Z S*$UL$
6! R1L E/ATE (FICE ": HE'D "W$ = T5
YE>S8
  ,2F ! BODIES 7 4COV]$1 MY "F _H A !O-
RY4 ,HE SD T X WD EV5TU,Y -E \ T ! "F _H
EMBEZZL$ A L>GE SUM F T R1L E/ATE -PANY4
,SOON] OR LAT]1 HE SD1 ! AU?ORITIES WD
CAT* UP ) !M4 ,!Y WD F9D !M LIV+ 9 A BIG
H\SE "U AN ASSUM$ "N 9 "S 4TANT1 SUNNY
/ATE4 8,OR MAYBE10 SD MY "F1 8MAYBE
!Y'LL N"E CAT* !M40 ,HE PAUS$1 A    #AGE
LL TAK5 ) ? ROMANTIC POSSIBIL;Y4 8,MAYBE
!Y'LL GET AWAY ) X10 HE SD4

  ,:5 HE HE>D !Y'D BE5 F.D1 HE SEEM$ ALM
BITT] T ! IDEA HE _H REP1T$ & EMBELLI%$
TURN$ \ 6BE S F> F ! TRU?4 8,X J DOESN'T
MAKE ANY S5SE10 HE SD1 & GL>$ D>KLY D[N
AT 8 H&S4
  ,! TWO ( U 7 \ AT A LOCAL B>1 A PLACE
CALL$ ,! ,FI%H1D T HE FREQU5T$1 & HE 0
ALR S"EAL BE]S AH1D ( ME4 ,HE 0 SLURR+ A
LL4
  8,I J C'T FA?OM :AT CD'VE HAPP5$4 ,H[
D Y DRIVE YR C> 96A ,GOD DAMN LAKE8 ,&
H[ D Y GET X \ "! Z DEEP Z !Y GOT X8
,EV5 IF "! 0 A DROP-(F80
  8,X'S FR1KI%10 ,I AGRE$4 ,I SIPP$ MY
BE]4 8,A R1L TRAG$Y10 ,I SD4
  ,MY "F %OOK 8 H1D3 ,I _H FAIL$ 6GET 8
PO9T4 8,D Y "K10 HE SD4 8,E "O ( !M 0 /
BUCKL$ IN4 ,T'S :AT ,BU4Y ,B>TL+ TOLD
ME1 & HE 0 "!4 ,! WOMAN 0 DRIV+1 & %E 0
/RAPP$ 9 2H ! :EEL4 ,X J DOESN'T MAKE
S5SE4 ,Y "K1 IF ! WAT] _H BE5 ICY COLD1
X WD'VE BE5 J--.BAM6--HYPO!RMIA4    #AGF
,B X WASN'T T COLD40
  8,HMM10 ,I SD4 ,X S.D$ L HE 0 3COCT+ A
NEW !ORY1 & ,I WAIT$4 ,! B>MAID CAME OV]
& ASK$ H[ WE 7 DO+ & MY "F TAPP$ 8 EMPTY
GLASS4
  8,Y "K :AT GETS ME10 MY "F SD4 ,HE
COCK$ 8 H1D AT ME1 SQU9T+ "O EYE1 & L[]$
8 VOICE4 8,:AT GETS ME IS YR ,GOD DAMN
"M4 ,"H ? HAPP5S N FIVE HUNDR$ Y>DS F H]
CAB94 ,B %E SEES NO?+1 %E HE>S NO?+4
,T'S J H[ %E IS4 ,Y "K X4 ,I M1N1 X'S
NO?+ AG/ H] RE,Y4 ,T'S N :AT ,I'M SAY+4
,%E'S YR "M1 & %E'S N A BAD WOMAN40
  8,NO10 ,I SD4 ,HE 0 DRUNK1 ,I ?"\4 ,I
FELT ! ALCOHOL MOV+ ?ICKLY "? MY [N
BODY1 & ,I CDN'T FOLL[ ": HE 0 GO+4 ,I
GAVE HM ! SAME "O-EY$ SQU9T4
  8,Y WD ?9K10 MY "F SD1 8A P]SON WD ?9K
!Y WD'VE HOLL]$4 ,^? KIDS4 ,!Y _H 6H
SCR1M$1 DON'T Y ?9K80
  8,I DON'T "K :AT Y'RE SAY+10 ,I SD1 &
HE HUN*$ 8 %\LD]S4
  8,I'M N SAY+ ANY?+10 HE SD1 B 8 EYES
_H A /RANGE 9T5S;Y4 8,X'S J A %AME "!
WASN'T "S"O ELSE 9 T CAB9 O!R ?AN   #AGG
YR MOM4 ,T'S ALL ,I'M SAY+4 ,!Y WD H F.D
^? FOLKS A LOT SOON]40

  ,MY P>5TS _H BE5 SEP>AT$ = ALM ?REE
YE>S 0T "T1 ?\< !Y'D N"E (FICI,Y DI-
VORC$4 ,!Y _H 8"P$ WAYS0 7Z MY "M SD7
"S"T DUR+ MY SOPHOMORE YE> 9 COLLEGE1 ,I
WASN'T EV5 SURE :54 ,NO "O TOLD ME4 ,MY
"M MOV$ \ 6! CAB91 & MY "F REMA9$ AT !
H\SE 9 ,OGALLALA4
  ,I DIDN'T Q "U/& ! SITU,N4 ,MY "M SD T
X _H 6D ) 8 DR9K+--?\<1 6ME1 HE DIDN'T
SEEM 6BE AN ALCOHOLIC1 AT L1/ N 9 ! WAY
T Y R1D AB4 ,HE N"E DID ANY?+ \TRAGE\S
OR ABUSIVE4 ,HE J DRANK BE] OR AN O3A.N-
AL GLASS ( :ISKEY1 ! SAME Z HE ALW _H1 &
G5],Y ALL T M1NT 0 T HE 0 A LL \-(-X AF
AB N9E O'C AT NI<T4
  ,MY "F FELT T X _H 6D )! DI6];E 9 _!
AGES4 ,MY "M 0 T5 YE>S OLD] ?AN MY "F1 &
ONCE ,I _H LEFT HOME1 HE SD1 ! DI6];ES
_H 2COME M DI6ICULT4 ,X 0 H>D 6GET A
CLE> ANSW] F HM4 ,HE H9T$ T X _H "S?+ 6D
) M5OPAUSE 7:AT HE SOLEMNLY CALL$ 8,!
,*ANGE ,O' ,LIFE074 ,%E'D J--       #AGH
*ANG$1 HE SD4
  ,N"E!.S1 MY "F 0 \ AT ! CAB9 REGUL>LY4
,ALL _! F9.ES 7 / 9T]TW9$1 & :5"E HE GOT
A *ECK = "W HE DID 7HE 0 A C>P5T]7 HE
CAME \ & GAVE X 6H]1 R ?AN DEPOSIT X
HMF4 ,X DIDN'T MAKE M* S5SE 6ME4
  ,! MORN+ AF \R 3V]S,N AT ! B>1 ,I
AWOKE 6! S.D ( !M >GU+4 ,X 0 AN ALM -=T+
NOISE1 FAMILI> 6ME S9CE *ILDHOOD1 & LY+
"! 9 HALF-SLEEP ,I MI<T H ONCE AG BE5
?IRTE5 YE>S OLD1 OR T51 OR SEV54
  8,DAMN X1 ,"EETT10 ,I HE>D MY "M SAY
%>PLY1 & ,I SMIL$ 2C ! PHRASE 0 S FAMIL-
I>1 & 2C ,I KNEW X WD MAKE HM BLU% & GR[
SULL54 ,8 R1L "N .0 ,"EETT1 B "EY"O
CALL$ HM ,%ORTY--HE 0 FIVE FOOT FIVE1 A
-PACT1 WIRY LL MAN--& "S "T 9 ! 4TANT
PA/ HE'D -E 6SEE ? NICK"N Z A K9D (
BADGE ( RESPECT1 & ,"EETT Z AN 9SULT1 A
SISSIFI$ EMB>RASS;T4 ,EV5 MY "M US$ X
ONLY 9 ANG]4
  ,I HE>D MY "F MUM# BACK AT H]1 A L[
/U2ORN S.D4 ,HE 0 T]RI# AT >GU+1 HE ALW
LO/ 7EV5 :5 HE 0 "R7 & MO/LY HE 0 REDUC$
6PETTY1 *ILDI% -EBACKS4 ,HE US$     #AGI
6FLIP UP 8 MI4LE F+] AT H]4 8,SIT & SP91
D>L9'10 HE WD SAY4 ,=A :ILE1 ? 0 8 FA-
VORITE F9AL ^W4
  ,0! "T ,I CAME 96! KIT*51 !Y _H LAPS$
96SIL;E4 ,HE 0 SITT+ AT ! TA#1 MOODILY
SIPP+ 8 C(FEE1 & %E 0 AT ! /OVE1 FRY+
E7S1 WIELD+ H] SPATULA ) V5OM\S PRECI.N4
8,MORN+10 ,I SD1 & MY "F RAIS$ 8 EYES &
NO4$4 ,MY "M SD NO?+4 ,%E FLIPP$ AN EGG
&! GR1SE CRACKL$4
  8,I'LL TELL Y "S?+10 %E SD AF A MO;T1
)\T TURN+ F ! FRY+ PAN4 8,IF Y'RE GO+ TO
2 DR9K+ & C>RY+ ON UNTIL ALL H\RS (!
NI<T1 Y C /AY ) YR "F40
  ,MY "F & ,I EX*ANG$ GL.ES1 & HE ROLL$
8 EYES A LL4 ,! ISSUE 0 S5SITIVE1 S9CE !
*OICE ( :OM ,I /AY$ ) M1NT T "O ( !M WD
FEEL SLI<T$4 ,! TRU? 0 T ,I _H *OS5 MY
"M = SELFI% R1SONS--%E COOK$1 & ,I _H
EASY A3ESS 6! LAKE4 ,I KEPT MY FACE NEU-
TRAL4
  ,B NO "O SD ANY?+ M4 ,MY "M SET PLATES
& SILV]W>E 9 FRONT ( U ) AN IRRITAT$
SNAP ( H] WRI/1 & ,I SAW PLA9LY T _!
>GU;T _H BE5 AB ME4 ,X 0 AN EX-     #AHJ
T5.N ( E>LI] FI<TS !Y'D _H1 :5 HE'D TAK5
ME 6B>S 2F ,I 0 ( LEGAL AGE4
  8,D Y WANT TOA/80 MY "M SD1 & ,I NO4$4
  8,YES1 PL1SE10 ,I SD HUMBLY4 8,) BUT-
T]40
  8,"!'S OLEO ON ! TA#10 %E SD1 & PUT
TWO SLICES ( BR1D 9 ! TOA/]4 8,"!'S A
KNIFE 0YR PLATE 6SPR1D X )4 ,"!'S NO
BUTT] 9 ! H\SE4 ,I DON'T BUY X ANYMORE40
  ,? 0 H] ALL-,I-D-IS-S]VE-P T"O (
VOICE4 ,& X 0 TRUE1 WE SAT & %E WAIT$ ON
U--8H& & FOOT10 Z %E LIK$ 6SAY4 ,ON !
O!R H&1 IF ,I 7 6ATTEMPT 6FRY MY [N EGG1
%E WD 2 "R 2H ME1 WAT*+ & MAK+ CRITICAL1
4APPROV+ FACES4 ,IF ,I TRI$ 6GET MY [N
SILV]W>E %E WD SAY1 8,:AT >E Y DI7+ =80
  ,9 RETROSPECT1 ,I SUPPOSE T X 0 T
MORN+ :5 ,I F/ 2GAN 6GET A /RANGE FEEL+
AB H]4 ,I R1LIZ$ T %E M/ H AN 9N] LIFE--
T %E 0 A P]SON :O ?"\ & FELT & _H MEMO-
RIES & DESIRES L ! RE/ ( U4 ,B ,I S5S$ T
"! 0 "S?+ *ANG$ & H>D5$ AB T 9N] LIFE4
,WE _H BO? 2COME MY/]I\S 6"O ANO!R1 & ,I
0 AW>E T %E WASN'T "PICUL>LY 9T]E/$ 9 MY
ADULTHOOD4 ,I 0 / H] SON1 NATU-     #AHA
R,Y2 B AT "S LEVEL1 ,I 0 AL "S?+ ELSE--
AN 9VAD]1 A GR[N-UP M9D T 0 2G9N+ 6-M&E]
! BODY (! * %E _H LOV$ S M*4

  ,I DON'T "K IF ,I 0 AN ADULT1 RE,Y4 ,T
SPR+1 =A V>IETY ( R1SONS1 ,I _H -E CLOSE
6FAIL+ MY F9AL SEME/] ( COLLEGE1 &1 AT !
LA/ M9UTE1 _H MANAG$ 6TALK MY ADVIS] 9TO
HELP+ ME GET AN EM]G5CY )DRAWAL4 ,I TOOK
9COMPLETES 9 ALL MY CLASSES1 &1 TWO
WEEKS 2F GRADU,N1 PACK$ UP MY /UFF &
DROVE HOME4 ,I LEFT ON ! SAME WEEK5D T !
,MORRISONS 4APPE>$4
  ,I TOOK A JOB AT A VIDEO /ORE 9 A LL
M9I-MALL NE> ! LAKE1 "S FIVE MILES D[N !
%ORE F MY "M'S CAB94 ,:5 ,I 0 A *1 X 0
SIMPLY A GAS /,N & 3V5I;E /ORE T SOLD
CANN$ GDS & BAIT4 ,B OV] ! YE>S1 X _H
EXP&$2 N[1 9 A4I;N 6! VIDEO /ORE1 "! 0
S\V5IR 8,%OPPE10 A ,MC,DONALD'S1 &A
,DOM9O'S ,PIZZA4 ,X IRRITAT$ ME A LL4
8,!Y0 7 TAK+ OV] ! LAKE1 ,I ?"\1 ?\< ,I
WASN'T SURE :O 8!Y0 W]E--NEW P1 ,I
GUESS4 ,I SP5T MY "DS FEEL+ SCORN;L &
SUP]IOR 6! MOVIES MO/ P R5T$4       #AHB
  ,"EY"O 0 TALK+ AB ! FAMILY :O _H DI$4
,MY BOSS TOLD ME T "! _H BE5 A NUMB] (
REPORT]S >.D1 & EV5 A ,,TV NEWS T1M F
,D5V]4 ,X 0 ALL A MY/]Y4 ,_H !Y SIMPLY
RUN (F ! ROAD1 & P]H BE5 KNOCK$ UNCON-
SCI\S 2F !Y HIT ! WAT]8 ,_H F\L PLAY BE5
9VOLV$ "SH[8 ,A PALE FAT MAN 9 CUT-(FS
TOLD ME T HE'D HE>D !Y'D BE5 DRU7$1 T X
_H BE5 A MOB HIT--:1 IF TRUE1 N"E APPE>$
9 ! PAP]S4
  ,:AT DID APPE> T MORN+ 0 AN UNN]V+1
POS$ /UDIO PORTRAIT (! ,MORRISONS1 GRA9Y
& BADLY REPRODUC$1 ON ! FRONT PAGE (!
.,/>-,9TELLIG;ER4 ,!Y 7 ALL GR9N+ =!
CAM]A1 EV5 ! BABY4 ,! "M SAT 9 FRONT1
HOLD+ ! 9FANT 9 H] LAP2 ! SEV5-YE>-OLD
GIRL1 PLUMP & OBVI\SLY PR\D ( H] WAI/-
L5G? HAIR1 SAT ON ! "R2 ! FIVE-YE>-OLD
BOY 0 ON ! LEFT1 8 HAIR /ICK+ UP A BIT1
8A ROO/]'S TAIL10 MY "M US$ 6CALL X2 !
"F 0 2H !M1 ) "O H& ON EA* (! *N'S
%\LD]S4
  ,LOOK+ AT _! PHOTOGRAPH1 Y CDN'T HELP
IMAG9+ !M ALL 9 T C>1 "U ! WAT]4 ,I SAW
X Z A SC5E 9 A ,B]GMAN FILM--A      #AHC
K9D ( DR1MY BLUR >.D ! $GES1 ! WAT] A
C]TA9 "USEA COLOR1 L A REFLEC;N "? GRE5
GLASS4 ,_! BODIES WD 2 LIFT$ A BIT1
FLOAT+ A FEW C5TIMET]S ABV ! UPHOL/]Y1
BO2+ A LL )! CURR5TS B HELD FA/ 0! S1T
BELTS4 ,SILV] M9N[S WD FLIT PA/ ! PALE
H&S T / GRIPP$ ! /E]+ :EEL1 & HIDE 9 !
S1WE$ (! LL GIRL'S L;G1 DRIFT+ HAIR2 A
PLA/IC BALL MI<T 2 FLOAT+ NE> ! CEIL+4
,_! EYES WD 2 WIDE1 & _! M\?S SLI<TLY
OP52 _! SK9 WD 2 PALE & %IMM]Y Z ! 9SIDE
(A CLAM%ELL2 B "! WD 2 NO R1L EXPRES.N
ON _! FACES4 ,!Y WD J />E1 P]H ) FA9T
SURPRISE4
  ,I ?"\ ( ALL ! "TS ,I'D BE5 SWIMM+ 9 !
PA/ MON?1 & ,I FELT A VAGUE NE$ 6SCRUB
MYF AG1 Z IF T VI.N ( !M _H SEEP$ 96!
WAT]1 Z ,IF ! EXI/;E ( ^? UN"KN BODIES
_H LEFT A FILM ON MY SK94 ,MY "M _H G"O
"? ! FREEZ] & ?R[N \ ALL ! FI% %E'D
CAU<T T SUMM] =! SAME R1SON3 ,X SEEM$
3TAM9AT$4 ,I 0 SICK5$ 6REMEMB] ! CATFI%
--A SCAV5G]--T %E'D CAU<T A FEW WEEKS
AGO1 & T WE'D EAT51 BR1D$ & DEEP FRI$1
"O ,SATUR"D EV5+4                   #AHD
  ,P :O KNEW ": MY "M LIV$ WD ASK AB X4
,I SD T %E DIDN'T HE> ANY?+4 ,I WASN'T
BACK F S*OOL AT ! "T1 ,I SD4 ,I WD TALK
AB H[ /RANGE X WAS4 ,X DIDN'T SEEM LOGI-
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:AT HAPP5$4 ,I HON$ SMALL SPEE*ES = RE-
PORT]S1 OR NEWS CAM]AS1 B ,I 0 N"E 9T]-
VIEW$4
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!Y'D F.D ! C>4 ,%E SD !Y'D ASK$ A LOT (
"QS B WDN'T G 96SPECIFICS4 ,ALL %E CD
TELL !M 0 T %E _HN'T HE>D ANY?+4 ,I CD
PICTURE H] SITT+ "! ON \R OLD CAB9 S(A1
! POLICEM5 ACR F H]4 ,I CD SEE ! /IFF1
(FICIAL WAY %E HELD H]F1 H] C>E;L MONO-
T"O :5 %E SPOKE4 ,%E FELT Z IF %E 7 2+
JUDG$--L %E 0 "O ( ^? ,KITTY ,G5OVESE P1
:O SAT 9 _! A"P;TS & IGNOR$ ! CRIES =
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2L4
  ,%E RE,Y 0 T TYPE ( P]SON4 ,X WASN'T T
%E DIDN'T C>E2 X 0 SIMPLY T X 0 H>D = H]
6TAKE ! 9ITIATIVE 9 A SITU,N T WASN'T H]
BUSI;S4 ,%E WD H ASSUM$ T "S"O ELSE _H
ALR D"O :AT NE$$ 6BE D"O4           #AHE
  ,:5 ,I CAME HOME F "W1 ,I ONLY BRIEFLY
M5;N$ ! ?+S ,I'D LE>N$3 ! PHOTO 9 ! PA-
P]1 ! ,,TV NEWS T1M1 ! SPECUL,N ,I'D
HE>D4 ,%E RE/$ H] H& AG/ H] =EH1D4 8,OH1
OH10 %E SD S(TLY4 ,%E %OOK H] H1D1 SAD-
LY1 & 0 SIL5T4 ,!N %E ASK$ ME IF HAM-
BURG]S 7 ALL R = D9N]4
  ,AT ! "T1 ? WEIRD JUXTAPOSI;N1 H] IN-
SI/;E ON SWIT*+ 6! MUNDANE1 SEEM$ L PURE
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%E 0 M OR LESS BLANK ON ! 9SIDE--OR AT V
BE/1 "O DIM5.NAL1 H] 3SCI\S;S A SPACE ":
SIMPLE -M&S 7 GIV5 & EXECUT$3 8,EAT4
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,P]H AN O3A.NAL EMO;N OR IDEA WD FLUTT]
"?1 BRIEFLY1 & !N 49TEGRATE4 ,IF ANY"O
CD FAIL 6BE CURI\S AB ? HORRIFIC EV5T1 X
0 MY "M4
  ,? 0 \R LIFE TGR3 D9N]1 DI%ES1 P]H A
VIDEO ,I'D BR"\ HOME F "W1 : %E USU,Y
FELL ASLEEP 9 FRONT (4 ,:5 ,I ASK$ H]
:AT K9DS ( MOVIES %E LIK$1 %E %RU7$4
8,OH1 ,I DON'T C>E1 RE,Y10 %E SD4
8,!Y'RE ALL AB ! SAME 6ME4 ,HALF ( !M
DON'T MAKE ANY S5SE1 ANYWAY40 ,:5   #AHF
,I PRESS$ H] 6"N A FILM %E'D LIK$1 %E AT
LA/ CAME UP ) .,WAIT .,UNTIL .,D>K1 AB A
BL LADY 2+ M5AC$ 0CRIM9ALS4 ,I BR"\ HOME
"S ?RILL]S AF T1 : %E WAT*$ 4PAS.NATELY
B ) 9T]E/--SU45 D1?S1 KILL]S HI45 2H
DOORWAYS1 SCR1M+ WOM5 PURSU$ D[N 5D.S
HALLS4 ,:5 X 0 OV]1 %E ALW CLAIM$ T %E
KNEW H[ X 0 GO+ 65D4
  ,LOOK+ BACK1 ,I R1LIZE T ? 0 MY LA/
*.E 6GET 6"K H]4 ,I WD N"E AG LIVE AT
HOME--A"P F O3A.NAL VISITS AT ,*RI/MAS
OR ,9DEP5D;E ,"D4 ,"S"TS ,I ?9K T IF
,I'D ONLY BE5 PAY+ M ATT5;N1 ,I MI<T H
BE5 PREP>$ = :AT HAPP5$ 6H] LAT]4 ,X
MI<T N H HAPP5$ AT ALL1 _H ,I BE5 WAT*+
=! SIGNS T ,I C N[ ONLY SE>* = 9 MY MEM-
ORY4

  ,B BACK !N1 :AT"E PUZZLES MY "M'S 9N]
LIFE PRES5T$ 7 N NE>LY Z 9T]E/+ Z ! MYS-
T]Y (! ,MORRISON FAMILY4 ,I CALL$ MY
COLLEGE FRS & TALK$ 6!M AB X1 FEEL+ A LL
9DIGNANT T X _HN'T BE5 PICK$ UP 0! N,NAL
NEWS4 8,X'S PRETTY AMAZ+10 ,I TOLD MY
FRS4 8,X'S ALM L "!'S NO R,NAL      #AHG
EXPLAN,N1 Y "K80
  ,I WALK$ D[N 6! SITE (! A3ID5T & EXAM-
9$ X = MYF4 ,"H 0 ! PLACE ": ! C> _H IN-
EXPLICABLY G"O (F ! ROAD4 ,!Y M/ H BE5
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D>K1 "O WD ASSUME1 ?\< NO "O KNEW4 ,!Y
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L+S DIDN'T SL[ !M D[N4 ,!Y FLEW OV] AN
EMBANK;T--S9CE SURELY1 IF ! TIRES _H HIT
! /RIP ( S& 2T ! L[ CLIFF &! WAT]1 !Y WD
H /OPP$1 M]ELY BO7$ D[N 9 AN UNPL1SANT B
EV5TU,Y HIL>I\S SITU,N4 ,"SH[1 ! C>
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LAKE 0 %ALL[ = S"EAL Y>DS 2F X DROPP$ (F
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  8,B DON'T C>S FLOAT =A :ILE 2F !Y
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DID4 ,& EV5 !N1 "! WD H SURELY BE5 "T TO
ROLL D[N ! W9D[S1 EV5 :ILE !Y 7 SUBM]G$1
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  ,:5 ,I WALK$ AL;G ! $GE (! ROAD1 "! 7
NO SIGNS ( ANY A3ID5T--NO TIRE M>KS AT !
$GE (! DIT*1 N EV5 A BROK5 SAPL+4 ,(
C\RSE1 ALM TWO MON?S _H PASS$2 ! ELA/IC
TREES _H /RAI<T5$1 SUMM] PLANTS     #AHH
_H GR[N WILD1 RA9 _H SMOO!D ! GR.D4
  ,Z ,I CAME BACK 6! CAB9 T "D1 WALK+
AL;G ! L9E ( %ORE1 ,I SAW T MY "F'S "W
VAN 0 P>K$ 9 ! DRIVEWAY4 ,HE _H PROBABLY
/OPP$ 9 = LUN*4 ,I CAME UP ! B1*SIDE
/EPS--: MY "F _H BUILT _M YE>S 2F--PA4+
B>EFOOT1 QUIET ?\< ,I DIDN'T NECESS>ILY
9T5D 6BE4 ,I CD HE> !M TALK+ 9 ! KIT*54
,! SLID+ GLASS DOOR T L$ F ! KIT*5 6!
DECK 0 OP51 & _! VOICES FLOAT$ \1 CLE> &
4EMBODI$ Z ,I APPROA*$4
  8,CALL H] UP10 MY "M 0 SAY+4 8,TELL H]
T IF %E DOESN'T PAY Y ? WEEK Y'RE GO+ TO
TAKE H] 6C\RT40
  8,I H HALF A M9D 6G \ "! & TAKE D[N !
:OLE DAMN A4I;N1 TWO-BY-F\RS & ALL40
  8,Y %D40
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FACE80 HE SD1 & MY "M *UCKL$ DEEPLY4
  8,I'D L 6BE "! 6SEE X10 %E SD4
  ,I SAT D[N AT ! TOP (! /EPS 6LI/54 ,!Y
7 ALW AT _! BE/ :5 !Y 7 TALK+ BUSI;S1
MAK+ PLANS & /RATEGIES4 ,I CDN'T HELP
FEEL+ SAD1 HE>+ !M4 ,X CD 2 L ?1 ,I ?"\
FOOLI%LY1 WE CD ALL 2 FRS1 SITT+    #AHI
>.D1 JOK+1 TALK+ EASILY4 ,T'S :AT X CD 2
L4
  8,%E PROBABLY ?9KS ,I [E H] "S?+10 MY
"F SD4
  8,D Y80 MY "M SD COLDLY4
  8,NO10 MY "F SD4 8,N RE,Y40 ,HE CLE>$
8 ?ROAT4
  8,WELL1 !N10 MY "M SD4
  ,!N !Y 7 QUIET4 ,I HE>D A PLATE 2+ SET
D[N ON ! TA#4 ,I GOT UP & W5T 9SIDE4
  ,!Y BO? LOOK$ UP1 />TL$4 8,HEY1 BUD10
MY "F SD4 8,:AT H Y BE5 UP TO80
  8,NO?+10 ,I SD4 ,I WAT*$ Z _! EXPRES-
.NS TI<T5$1 Z :AT"E !Y 7 TALK+ AB 0 BUR-
I$ AWAY1 \ ( SI<T4 ,I 0 -+ 6R1LIZE T ,I
DIDN'T RE,Y "K !M V WELL4 ,"SH[1 TW5TY-
TWO-YE>-OLD ,%ORTY _H FALL5 9 LOVE ) MY
"M1 A %>P-T;GU$1 ?IRTY-TWO-YE>-OLD TELE-
PH"O OP]ATOR4 ,"SH[1 !Y'D /AY$ M>RI$ =
TW5TY YE>S1 & !N1 ABRUPTLY1 "SH[ !Y'D
DECID$ 6GIVE UP4 ,X DIDN'T Q MAKE S5SE1
& ,I LOOK$ AT !M1 =A M9UTE AW>E (! O!R
MY/]Y 9 MY LIFE4
  8,D Y WANT "S S\P80 MY "M ASK$1 Z IF
,I 7 A CU/OM]4                      #AIJ

  ,LOOK+ BACK1 ,I WI% T ,I'D G"O AB F9D+
ANSW]S 9 A M SY/EMATIC WAY4 ,I DON'T EV5
"K IF 8ANSW]S0 7 :AT ,I 0 LOOK+ = AT !
"T4 ,MO/LY1 ,I 0 ?9K+ ( MYF--": WD ,I 2
AT ?IRTY-TWO1 =TY-FIVE1 FIFTY-FIVE8 ,H[
DID P G AB FALL+ 9 LOVE1 GETT+ M>RI$1
HAV+ JOBS1 FAMILIES1 LIV+ _! LIVES8 ,I
WANT$ 6FRAME MY P>5TS' LIVES L SCRIPTS--
PLOT1 3FLICT1 MOTIV,N1 !ME--ANY?+ T CD 2
EASILY ANALYZ$1 ANY?+ T MI<T GIVE ME A
CLUE AB H[ 6PROCE$1 OR H[ N TO4
  ,P]H ? 0 :AT ,I ?"\ ( Z MY "M & ,I SAT
ON ! DECK1 Z WE (T5 DID ON HOT NI<TS4
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%APE (! LAKE--AT ! LI<TS ( H\SES ON !
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FLIES 9 ! AIR1 : REM9D$ ME (! WAY ! LIT
5D ( H] CIG>ETTE WD GL[ M 9T5SELY :5 %E
BR1!D IN1 & FADE :5 %E EXHAL$4
  ,I C'T REMEMB] T WE TALK$1 ?\< WE M/
H4 ,P]H WE SPOKE (! W1!R1 OR :AT"E MUN-
DANE DAILY ACTIVITIES WE'D G"O AB2 MAYBE
WE JOK$ AB ! 8NEWS0 9 ^? SUP]M>KET
TABLOIDS %E LIK$ 6R1D4 ,I 2LIEVE    #AIA
T 0 ! YE> ,PR9CESS ,GRACE ( ,MONACO DI$1
9 H] [N MY/]I\S C> A3ID5T4 ,WE MI<T H
4CUSS$ T4
  ,B X 0 ! ?+S T WE DIDN'T TALK AB T
SEEM$ MO/ PRES5T4 ,I WANT$ 6"K :AT %E
.RE,Y ?"\ ( ME2 :AT _H .RE,Y HAPP5$ 2T
H] & MY "F2 :AT %E 0 GO+ 6D ) H] LIFE
N[4 ,B X 0 Z IF WE 7 DEEP "UWAT]--^?
3V]S,NS DRIFT$ OV] ! SURFACE1 F> ABV U1
L ! RIPPL+ %AD[S ( RAFTS & SWIMM]S T FI%
MI<T NOTICE1 & />TLE AT4
  ,I SD1 8,S ''' :AT >E YR PLANS =!
YE>80
  8,OH10 %E SD1 & SI<$4 8,I DON'T H ANY
IDEA4 ,I'LL PROBABLY J D ! SAME OLD ?+4
,LIVE "H 9 ! H\SE1 TAKE C>E ( YR DAD'S
BOOKS1 & TRY 6GET BY40
  ,%E 0 SIL5T1 Z IF ! PROCESS ( 8GETT+
BY0 7 FRAU<T ) SECRET P]ILS4 ,A C\PLE (
KIDS CAME RUNN+ AL;G H] /RET* ( B1*1
LAU<+ & CALL+ \1 _! FLA%LI<TS BO2+ L W-
O'-!-WISPS4 ,WE WAT*$ Z !Y RAN (F T[>D !
SPOT ": ! BODIES 7 4COV]$4 ,! LI<TS
DIPP$ & SWAY$ Z ! KIDS RAN PA/1 GR[+
SMALL] 9 ! 4T.E4                    #AIB
  8,T "P (! B1* IS GO+ 6BE HAUNT$10 ,I
SD4 8,DON'T Y ?9K80
  8,:AT D Y M1N80 %E SD %>PLY4
  8,OH1 Y "K10 ,I SD4 8,! WAY P MAKE ?+S
UP4 ,:5 "S?+ L T HAPP5S40
  8,HMM10 %E SD SUSPICI\SLY4 8,WELL1 T'S
! WAY P >E10 %E SD4 8,FULL ( /UPID;Y40
,%E LOOK$ AT ME Z IF ,I MI<T 2 "O ( !M1
A SPY F ! _W (! IGNORANT4 ,%E TILT$ H]
H1D BACK & BR1!D \ A L;G TRAIL ( SMOKE4
8,I DON'T ?9K AB X10 %E TOLD ME1 FIRMLY1
& FR[N$4 ,I ?"\1 Z %E GAZ$ \ T[>D ! WA-
T]1 %E LOOK$ TR\#D4 ,! TALL COTTONWOODS
AL;GSIDE ! H\SE TREM#D A BIT 9 ! BREEZE4
,%E /U2$ \ A CIG>ETTE & LIT ANO!R "O4

  ,? 0 ! WAY MY "M _H ALW BE51 Z F> Z ,I
CD REMEMB]1 ?\< Y DON'T NOTICE X Z A *--
OR AT L1/1 ,I DIDN'T4 ,X SEEM$ ! NATURAL
C\RSE ( ?+S4 ,I C'T RE,Y GUESS :AT H]
LIFE 0 L1 F "D 6"D4 ,I RECALL ONLY LL
?+S1 MO/LY4 ,I REMEMB] H[1 :5 %E TOOK \
H] CURL]S1 %E WD LET ME PUT MY F+]S "? !
HOLES 9 ^? TI<T1 TUBELIKE CURLS4 ,I WD
/RET* H] HAIR \ 6XS FULL L5G? &     #AIC
!N WAT* X B\NCE BACK1 P]FECTLY1 96XS
HOLL[ %APE AG/ H] SKULL4 ,!N %E WD BRU%
H] HAIR UNTIL ! CURLS TURN$ 96A K9D (
BUB# >.D H] H1D1 P]FECTLY R.D1 L A HEL-
MET4 ,%E WD HAIR-SPRAY X UNTIL X 0 /IFF4
,? 0 H] LATE-MORN+ RITUAL4 ,%E WD DR9K
C(FEE & WAT* ,,TV1 OR D CROSS^W PUZZLES4
,:5 ,I WANT$ A HUG OR KISS1 %E WD GIVE X
6ME4
  ,I DON'T ?9K %E 0 "E VIVACI\S4 ,H]
LAU<T]1 IF X CAME1 _H A GRUDGE "UN1? X4
,I H SE5 E>LY PICTURES ( H] & MY "F ":
%E APPE>S 6BE LAU<+1 YET / %E SEEMS
SELF-3SCI\S AB X1 GLANC+ A LL (F 6!
SIDE1 UNCOM=TA#4 ,%E IS N"E ESPECI,Y
PRETTY 9 ^! "Y] PICTURES--"! IS TOO M*
H>D;S & CAUTI\S AMBIVAL;E 9 ! SET ( H]
F1TURES4 ,X IS MY "F :O SEEMS 6H A GL[
AB HM4 ,Y C TELL 9 8 FACE1 9 ! WAY HE
LOOKS AT H]1 T HE IS 9 LOVE4 ,HE IS A LL
9 AWE ( H]1 X SEEMS--Z IF %E IS AN OLD]
SIBL+ :O W ALW1 ALW \TDO HM1 B HE
DOESN'T M9D4
  ,9 ! MI4LE YE>S ( MY GR[+ UP--2T1 SAY1
N9E & ?IRTE5--%E 0 DEPRESS$ A       #AID
LOT4 ,I KNEW :Y4 ,I 0 TOLD :Y4 ,X 0 2C (
MY SI/]1 ,T]ESA ,JOY1 :O DI$4
  ,T]ESA ,JOY WASN'T ACTU,Y A R1L SI/]1
?\< T 0 :AT MY P>5TS ALW CALL$ H]4 8,YR
SI/]10 !Y SD4 ,%E 0 A /ILLBORN BABY1 :OM
,I N"E SAW4 ,MY P>5TS _H A GRAVE = H]1
?\<1 )A LL H1D/"O T !Y DECORAT$ ) FL[]S
ON ,MEMORIAL ,"D4 ,"! W]E1 ,I LE>N$ LAT-
]1 A NUMB] ( MISC>RIAGES 2T ME & ,T]ESA
,JOY1 ?\< N"O ( !M GOT V F> AL;G4 ,T]ESA
,JOY1 ON ! O!R H&1 0 "O ( ^? FLUKES4 ,%E
/RANGL$ ON ! UMBILICAL CORD1 & "! 0 NO?-
+1 APP>5TLY1 ! DOCTORS CD D4
  ,I REMEMB] ! "T MY "M TRI$ 6KILL H]F4
,NO "O "E SPOKE ( X Z S*1 B AT T AGE ,I
0 OLD 5 6PUT X TGR4 ,I RECALL ! AMBUL.E
-+ 6\R H\SE1 ! M5 TRY+ 6PUT H] ON A
/RET*] & H] J AW>E 5 6/RU7LE ) !M--
FLAIL+ H] >MS :5 !Y LIFT$ H]1 H] MUM#D
PROTE/S "? LIPS T SEEM$ CLAYLIKE & UN-
NATURAL1 MOV+ L A BADLY DU2$ ,JAPANESE
FILM4 8,NO1 NO1 NO10 %E SD4 8,NO1 NO40
,I ?9K N[ T %E M/ H TAK5 AN OV]DOSE (
PILLS4
                                    #AIE
  ,MY "F & ,I 7 AT ,! ,FI%H1D "O NI<T1
TALK+4 ,HE WANT$ ME 6PLAY POOL1 & ?\<
,I'D N"E BE5 ANY GD AT ANY SORT ( GAME1
,I AGRE$4 ,I FIGUR$ X 0 "S?+ ,I [$ HM1
"S?+ A "F & SON %D D TGR4
  8,T'S ALL "R10 HE SD Z ! CUE BALL ,I'D
HIT DRIFT$ 9 2T ! COLOR$ BALLS X 0 M1NT
6/RIKE4 8,GD TRY10 HE SD Z HE SQU1K$
BLUE *ALK ONTO ! 5D ( 8 /ICK4
  ,I DON'T "K :Y ? %D H CALL$ UP AN IM-
AGE ( MY "M 9 EXTREMIS1 B X DID4 ,P]H X
0 ! WAY HE GL.ED OV] 8 %\LD]1 $GILY1
WORRY+ T "S"O MI<T LAU< AT MY 9EPTITUDE4
,P]H X 0 SIMPLY T WE _H BE5 TALK+ AB H]4
  8,Y REMEMB] :AT %E 0 L :5 Y 7 A KID10
HE SD4 8,%E 0 "S?+ ELSE1 !N1 BOY6 ,Y
MI<T N H "KN X4 ,%E 0 9T5SE40
  8,9T5SE80 ,I SD4 ,AN IMAGE SP>K$ 9 MY
M9D--H]1 /RU7L+ )! AMBUL.E DRIV]S4 ,": 0
MY "F AT T MO;T8 ,/&+ ASIDE8 ,WAT*+8 ,I
CDN'T REMEMB]4 ,HE L1N$ OV] ! POOL TA# &
RAN ! /ICK 2T 8 F+]S4
  8,I DON'T "K10 HE SD4 8,%E KEEPS A LOT
( ?+S BOTTL$ UP 9SIDE H]40 ,HE /RUCK1
S5D+ A /RIP$ BALL 96A POCKET4 ,HE   #AIF
/>$ Z X VANI%$4 8,AH1 ,S1N10 HE SD4 8,Y
"K ,I TRI$ 6BE A GD HUSB& 6H]4 ,Y "K T
,I TRI$ 6BE GD 6Y BO?4 ,I 0 A GD DAD 6Y1
WASN'T ,I80
  8,SURE10 ,I SD4 8,( C\RSE40
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,HE 0 LOOK+ AT ME 9 T CRAFTY1 SIDEL;G
WAY ( HIS1 Z IF HE _H A SECRET & 0 TRY+
6DECIDE :E!R OR N HE CD TRU/ ME ) X4
,HE'D SQU9T "O EYE & FIX ON ME )! O!R1
SIZ+ ME UP4 ,HE MI<T SAY "S?+ 9T]E/+ IF
HE _H A FEW M4
  8,Y FEEL L HAV+ A %OT80 ,I SD SLYLY4
  ,HE %RU7$4 8,I WDN'T M9D10 HE SD4
  ,I W5T BACK 6! B> & BR"\ BACK TWO
GLASSES ( B\RBON1 N1T4 ,HE 0 9 ! PROCESS
( F9I%+ (F \R SECOND GAME4 ,HE "ND !
POCKET =! EI<T BALL1 DEF1T$ ME AG1 & !N
TOOK 8 GLASS ( :ISKEY1 CLICK+ ! GLASS
AG/ M9E )A MUT$ PRIDE 9 8 VICTORY4
  8,Y NE$ "S M PRACTICE1 MY SON10 HE
MURMUR$ T1S+LY4

  ,LL DID HE "K T ,I _H SCOR$ A SMALL
VICTORY ( MY [N--= Z SOON Z WE      #AIG
SAT BACK D[N AT ! B>1 HE 2GAN 6RUB 8 *9
RUE;LLY1 /UDY+ 8 [N REFLEC;N 9 ! MIRROR
2H ! R[S ( LIQUOR BOTTLES4 8,I'VE BE5
?9K+10 HE SD4 8,Y "K :AT ,I ?9K8 ,I ?9K
%E DID X ON PURPOSE1 T WOMAN40
  8,:AT80 ,I SD4 ,I 0 / ?9K+ ( MY "M4
  8,T WOMAN T DROVE 96! LAKE10 MY "F SD4
8,I ?9K %E DID X ON PURPOSE4 ,%E _H X
PLANN$ \1 Y SEE8 ,T'S :AT !Y'RE N GETT+4
,%E _H X PLANN$ \4 ,MAYBE ! HUSB& 0 9 ON
X1 TOO1 ,I DON'T "K AB HM4 ,B %E DEFI-
NITELY KNEW :AT %E 0 DO+40
  8,DAD10 ,I SD4 8,:Y WD "S"O D T80
  ,"! M/ H BE5 "S?+ SNOTTY 9 MY T"O (
VOICE1 2C HE SNORT$ Z IF ,I'D (F5D$ HM4
8,:Y D P D ANY?+1 ,S1N80 HE SD4 ,HE
LOOK$ AT ME1 A SL[1 DRUNK5 FILM OV] 8
EYES1 A SAD & SCORN;L LOOK4 8,D Y ?9K Y
C SAY :Y P D :AT !Y D8 ,!Y T1* Y T 9
COLLEGE80 ,HE />$ AT ME ?"\;LLY1 & LAT]1
:5 ,I 0 OLD]1 X 0 "S?+ ,I RECALL$1 T EX-
PRES.N4 ,X 0 ! />E (A MAN :O HAS R1LIZ$
T HE DOESN'T "K 8 SON & 8 SON DOESN'T "K
HM4 ,HE %RU7$4 8,AH1 WELL10 HE SD4
  8,I J ASK$10 ,I SD4 8,I'M N       #AIH
D\BT+ Y40
  ,HE PUT 8 H& 6HIS =EH1D1 SO45LY4
8,I'LL TELL Y A /ORY10 HE SD4 8,Y PROBA-
BLY DON'T REMEMB] ?1 Y 7 J A KID AT !
"T4 ,Y REMEMB] :5 ,T]ESA ,JOY 0 BORN80
  8,YES10 ,I SD4
  8,Y "K1 YR MOM--%E 0 R1L UPSET4 ,%E 0
HAV+ A R\< "T ( X4 ,WOM5 G "? A LOT (
BODILY *ANGES :5 !Y GIVE BIR?1 HORM"OS &
T4 ,Y'VE BE5 6COLLEGE1 Y PROBABLY "K M
AB X ?AN ,I D40 ,HE PAUS$ =A MO;T1 & ,I
%IFT$ SELF-3SCI\SLY4
  8,NO1 N RE,Y10 ,I SD4 8,I DIDN'T TAKE
T K9D ( C\RSE40
  8,MM10 MY "F SD4 ,HE GAZ$ D[N1 RUNN+ 8
?UMB OV] A WET CIRCLE ON ! B>'S V>NI%$
SURFACE4 8,WELL1 ANYWAYS10 HE SD4 8,%E 0
DEPRESS$4 ,Y "K T4 ,WE /RU7L$ ) X1 ,I
FELT L ''' ,I _H 6WAT* H]4 ,Y DIDN'T "K
:AT %E MI<T D4 ,%E ''' WELL1 %E 0 AT A
PO9T ": %E 0 A DANG] 6H]F4 ,Y REMEMB]4
,B X 0 H>D4 ,%E _H N"E BE5 A W1K P]SON1
Y "K1 & ''' ,I WASN'T ''' ,I C'T SAY ,I
0 DO+ S WELL T ,I CD 2 ! P]SON = H] 6L1N
ON4 ,I N"E ?"\ ,I'D H TO1 Y "K8     #AII
,I ?"\ %E'D ALW 2 H]F--L %E WAS4
  8,I'LL TELL Y10 HE SD4 8,I ?9K AB ? "O
NI<T4 ,%E WASN'T SLEEP+ M* !N1 Y "K1 &
,I DON'T "K :AT WOKE ME UP1 B ,I SUPPOSE
,I HE>D H] \ "! 9 ! KIT*5 MOV+ >.D4 ,^?
"DS Y _H 6SLEEP L Y 7 HALF-AWAKE1 9 CASE
"S?+ HAPP5$4 ,%E'D TRI$ /UFF4
  8,S ,I GOT \ ( B$1 Y "K8 ,MAYBE ,I 0 /
"P 9 A DR1M ''' X M/ H BE5 "S"T AF MID-
NI<T1 : 0 N ALL T UNUSUAL = H] BACK !N1
%E'D W&] >.D AT ALL H\RS4 ,B ,I _H A
FUNNY FEEL+4 ,& S ,I GOT UP & ,I SORT
(--CALL$ 6H]1 B %E DIDN'T ANSW]4 ,S ,I
W5T \ 6! KIT*5 & !N ,I CD SMELL ! GAS F
! /OVE4
  8,%E WASN'T H]F !N1 ,S1N10 HE SD APOL-
OGETIC,Y1 ?\< ,I 0 J SITT+ "!1 MY FACE
NEUTRAL & ATT5TIVE4 8,%E WASN'T EV5 "!1
N RE,Y4 ,I CD SEE T4 ,%E 0 J /&+1 LOOK+
AT ! BURN]S (! /OVE4 ,I GUESS %E'D BL[N
\ ! PILOT LI<T4 ,I CD SMELL X PRETTY
/R;G4 ,& !N ,I SAW T %E _H A CIG>ETTE--X
WASN'T LIT--%E _H A CIG>ETTE 9 H] M\?1 &
%E 0 F+]+ H] LI<T] 9 H] H&1 WAIT+4 ,?9K+
AB X4 ,I DON'T "K :AT ,I SD4 ,I     #BJJ
?9K ,I SD "S?+ L1 ,8,H"OY1 DON'T40'
  8,I DON'T "K :AT ,I 0 ?9K+4 ,I DON'T
?9K ,I PANICK$ AT ALL4 ,I GUESS--,I
DON'T "K1 :5 %E F9,Y LOOK$ UP AT ME1 "!
0 "P ( ME T WANT$ 6LET H] G AH1D & D X4
,I LOV$ YR MOM A LOT1 & %E _H ^? EYES4
,^? EYES1 BOY--,I CD D A LOT ( ?+S :5 %E
LOOK$ AT ME A C]TA9 WAY4 ,I J ?"\--A "P
( ME ?"\--WELL1 :Y N8 ,"EY?+ HAS G"O TO
%IT4 ,D Y SEE :AT ,I'M SAY+8 ,X'S J A
MATT] (A SECOND4 ,L T FAMILY4 ,! .,MOR-
RISONS10 HE SD CYNIC,Y4 8,! BIG ,GOD
DAMN MY/]Y P4 ,T'S :AT WE WD H BE54 ,!Y
WD H WRIT X UP 9 ! PAP]S1 L ,8,FAMILY (
,?REE ,DIES 9 ,MY/]Y ,BLAZE10' OR "S
CRAP1 & !Y WD H YAMM]$ & GOSSIP$ & WON-
D]$ '''0
  8,B10 ,I SD4 8,%E DIDN'T D X4 ,%E DE-
CID$ N 6D X40
  ,HE GAVE ME A TI<T SMILE4 8,I RECKON
%E DIDN'T10 HE SD4 8,WE'RE / "H1 >5'T
WE80
  ,I FELT MY SK9 PRICKLE4 ,WD ,I  H
AWAK5$ :5 ! AIR CAU<T FIRE8 ,I WOND]$4
,I SAW MYF1 MYF AT N9E1 SITT+ UP    #BJA
9 B$ Z A R$-ORANGE CL\D RU%$ 96ME1 !
FLA% (A S+LE SYNAPSE4 ,WD X H HURT8 ,:AT
WD X 2 L1 6SU45LY C1SE 6EXI/8 ,I FELT MY
BACK T5SE AT ! IMAGE ( T B"R R$ BUR/1 T
BLOTT+ \4 ,:AT AB ME8 ,W]5'T !Y ?9K+ AB
ME AT ALL8 ,B ,I DIDN'T SAY ?4
  8,:AT /OPP$ H]80 ,I SD AT LA/4 8,:Y
DIDN'T %E--80
  ,MY "F %RU7$4 8,T'S ALL ,I'M SAY+4
,X'S A SECOND4 ,I DON'T "K4 ,WE MI<T H
LOOK$ AT EA* O!R =A M9UTE OR FIVE M9UTES
--:O "KS8 ,B !N %E J--TURN$ (F ! /OVE4
,WALK$ OV] & OP5$ A W9D[4 ,"! WASN'T ANY
''' BIG SC5E4 ,I DON'T ?9K WE "E TALK$
AB X AG40
  8,:Y N80 ,I SD1 & MY VOICE FELT HU%$ &
RA7$4 ,I />$ AT ! NEON LRS ABV ! B>1 :
SPELL$ \ .,BE]4
  8,:AT 0 "! 6SAY80 MY "F SD4 8,:AT D Y
SAY AB "S?+ L T80

  ,YE>S LAT]1 ,I WD TRY 6REPLAY ? 3V]S,N
9 MY M9D1 ?9K+ X MI<T HOLD "S CLUE4 ,I C
ONLY MAKE UP 8 EXACT ^WS1 ?\< !Y S.D
H"O/ 9 MY IMAG9,N4 ,I C PICTURE     #BJB
MY DRIVE HOME T NI<T--,I "P$ WAYS ) MY
"F1 AWKW>DLY ON ! SIDEWALK \TSIDE ! B>1
/&+ NE> \R C>S1 & "! 0 A MO;T :5 WE MI<T
H HU7$ B DIDN'T4 8,GD-BYE1 SEE Y TM60
8,GD-BYE1 SLEEP WELL60 ,I M/ H GOTT5 9
MY C> & PUT ! KEY 96! IGNI;N & MY H& ON
! :EEL4 ,! NI<T M/ H BE5 D>K1 MAYBE )A
LL RA91 &! ?ICK TREES AL;G ! ROADSIDE 7
H1VY ) FO7Y MOI/URE1 &! YELL[ L9ES 9 !
MI4LE (! SLICK HI<WAY KEPT DIVID+1 PULL+
A"P L BLURRY AMOEBAS 2N MY BE]Y GAZE4
  ,ALL ( ? M/ H HAPP5$1 B :AT ,I RE,Y
REMEMB] IS ! IMAGE ( MY "M ) H] LI<T] &!
ROOM FULL ( GAS4 ,I REMEMB] A "PICUL>
FAUX-VELVET R$ NI<TG[N %E WD H BE5 WE>+1
,I C SEE H] NAK$1 BONY FEET AG/ ! BLACK-
&-:ITE KIT*5 TILE4 ,I C SEE MY ROOM1 :5
,I 0 N9E YE>S OLD1 ! TAP$ PO/]S & DRAW+S
( ROBOTS ON ! WALLS1 ! MICROSCOPE1 !
ROCK POLI%]1 ALL ( T ./UFF IS VIVIDLY
IMPR9T$4 ,I REMEMB] TELEVI.N %[S ,I
WAT*$ M CLE>LY ?AN ,I RECALL :AT 0 GO+
ON 2T MY P>5TS4
  ,MY "M 0 ASLEEP :5 ,I GOT HOME1 & WD H
BE5 ANGRY 6F9D ME /UMBL+ 9 DRUNK    #BJC
AT ALL H\RS1 Z ,I'D PROMIS$ N TO4 ,B %E
DIDN'T WAKE4 ,I 4T9CTLY RECALL /&+ OV]
H] B$1 WAT*+ H]4 ,! QUILT 0 PULL$ UP 6H]
NECK4 ,%E 0 BR1?+ DEEPLY1 LOOSELY1 H]
M\? SLACK & VULN]A# & 9NOC5T4 ,H] KNEES
7 PULL$ UP NE> H] BELLY4 ,RA9 MADE A S.D
L SLEEP \TSIDE ! W9D[4 ,%E DIDN'T APPE>
6BE DR1M+4 ,X 0 QUIET4

  ,I WANT 6TELL Y T "S?+ ELSE IMPORTANT
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0 SOLV$1 T ,I F9,Y "U/OOD MY P>5TS' RE-
L,N%IP1 T MY "M H]F 2CAME SU45LY CLE> TO
ME4 ,I WANT 6SAY T ,I F9,Y 3FRONT$ MY
"M1 %ORTLY AF ! 3V]S,N ) MY "F 9 ! B>1 T
WE _H AN IN-DEP? 3V]S,N4 ,I WANT$ TO--,I
M1NT 6TALK 6H]4
  ,B ,I 0 V BUSY AT ! VIDEO /ORE4 ,I 0
GO+ BACK 6COLLEGE 9 ! FALL1 & ,I _H 6DE-
CIDE :AT ,I 0 GO+ 6D4 ,I _H ? ENORM\S1
VIRG9 EXPANSE ( "T 9 FRONT ( ME T NE$$
6BE CLAIM$1 & COLONIZ$1 & /RIP-M9$3 .,MY
.FUTURE4
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0 /AY+ ) H] P>5TS 9 A CAB9 N F> F   #BJD
MY "M'S--A REC5T HI< S*OOL GRADUATE 9 !
MID/ ( H] SUMM]-2F-COLLEGE1 EI<TE5 YE>S
OLD4 ,I ?9K H] "N 0 ,MI*ELLE4 ,WE MADE
LOVE ON ! B1*1 ON ! $GE (! ,MORRISONS'
WAT]Y GRAVE4 ,X 0 H] F/ "T1 %E SD1 & AFW
,I MADE A HOLE 9 ! S& ) MY B>E FOOT &
BURI$ MY US$ 3DOM--MY SE$1 MY POT5TIAL
SONS & DAU<T]S S1L$ 9 _! PLA/IC C(F91
E>? TAPP$ D[N G5TLY OV] !M )! PALM ( MY
H&4 ,MI*ELLE SAT CLOSE BY1 %AWL$ 9 A B1*
T[EL1 SIL5T & FULL ( REGRET4
  ,MY "M1 9 H] CAB9 B$ROOM1 0 ASLEEP4
,%E APPE>$ 9 MY M9D1 B ,I ?RU/ H] AWAY4
,%E 0 ! "O ?+ ,I DIDN'T WANT 6?9K AB4

  ,6TELL ! TRU?1 T LA/ SUMM] ,I SP5T )
MY P>5TS 0 SOON =GOTT5--J Z ! ,MORRISONS
W]E1 MOV+ F ! FRONT PAGE (! PAP] 6! BACK
SEC;NS1 &1 F9,Y1 DRIFT+ \ (! RANGE & IN-
T]E/ ( J\RNALI/S ="E4 ,I W5T ON2 ,I F9-
I%$ S*OOL1 ,I TOOK V>I\S JOBS1 ,I MOV$
96DI6]5T CITIES & A"P;TS & %U6L$ "?
GIRLFRS4 ,ALL "? MY TW5TIES ,I KEPT ?9K-
+4 ,MY LIFE WD MAKE A GRT MOVIE6 ,X
WASN'T UNTIL ,I SAT D[N 6WRITE X    #BJE
T ,I R1LIZ$ T X DIDN'T AM.T 6M* ( ANY?+4
,X 0 J A S]IES ( 4CONNECT$ 9CID5TS4
  ,!N1 ALM T5 YE>S AF ! ,MORRISONS1 MY
"M H]F 4APPE>$4

  ,MY "M VANI%$ "S"T 9 ,AUGU/4 ,I _H BE5
TRY+ 6TELEPH"O H] =A FEW WEEKS1 & !N ,I
F9,Y CALL$ ! POLICE--?9K+1 NATUR,Y1 T %E
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KIT*5 &! B$ROOM1 OR SITT+ ON ! TOILET L
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  ,B ? WASN'T ! CASE4 ,! CAB91 !Y SD1
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WEEK LAT] ? SEEM$ 6BE TRUE4 ,MO/ (! FUR-
NITURE 0 "!1 B ! CLOSETS 7 NO?+ B B>E
HANG]S1 &! REFRIG]ATOR 0 EMPTY & UN-
PLU7$4 ,! FRONT DOOR _H BE5 LEFT WIDE
OP54
  ,9 "S WAYS1 ,I SUPPOSE ,I WASN'T SUR-
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SU45 /ROKE1 FIFTY-TWO YE>S OLD1 BURI$ 2S
,T]ESA ,JOY'S T9Y GRAVE4 ,S9CE !N1 ,I
_HN'T BE5 A# 6GET ANY P]SPECTIVE ON ?+S
%E TOLD ME4 ,%E _H BE5 SAY+ /RANGE ?+S
LATELY--! CAB9 SPOOK$ H]1 %E SD1    #BJF
%E FELT L "S"O 0 WAT*+ H]1 & !N %E 0
SURE ( X1 & F9,Y %E 2GAN 6?9K T "S"O 0
TRY+ 6BR1K IN4 ,\TSIDE1 %E CLAIM$ 6H F.D
?9 SCRAPES >.D ! LOCK ON ! DOOR--! NEW
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  ,H] FE>S _H N S.D$ T S]I\S1 ,I H 6AD-
MIT4 ,!Y 7 BURI$ 9 A L;G LI/ ( -PLA9TS &
WORRIES--F H] H1L? 6! NEW P :O _H MOV$
NEXT DOOR--: _H 2COME ! MA9 TOPIC ( 3V]-
S,N :5 ,I CALL$4 ,I WD TELL H] :AT ,I 0
DO+1 B ,I CD S5SE H] IMPATI;E4
  ,YET %E DIDN'T SEEM CRAZY4 ,T'S :AT ,I
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4ORI5T$ 9 ANY WAY80 "O (FIC] ASK$ ME1 &
,I _H 6SIMPLY %RUG MY %\LD]S4 8,N RE,Y10
,I SD4 8,MAYBE A LL40 ,I TOLD !M T LA/
,*RI/MAS1 :5 ,I VISIT$1 %E _H GIV5 ME A
BUN* ( OLD PHOTO ALBUMS & MEMORABILIA4
8,Y MI<T Z WELL H ? JUNK N[1 Z SOON Z
LAT]10 %E'D SD4 8,KEEP :AT Y WANT & ?R[
! RE/ AWAY40 ,X 0 MO/LY PICTURES    #BJG
( U :5 WE 7 A FAMILY--ME1 MY "F1 & H]--&
OLD RELATIVES ,I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE1 &
GIFTS ( JEWELRY & KNICKKNACKS MY "F _H
GIV5 H]1 & "S ( MY OLD REPORT C>DS &
*ILDHOOD DRAW+S T %E'D SAV$4
  ,"! 0 NO?+ ( T SORT LEFT 9 ! CAB93 ,!
CLOSETS1 ! DRAW]S1 ! /ORAGE SPACES 7
SPOT.SLY EMPTY & SMELL$ ( 49FECTANT4 ,I
F.D A NICKEL 9 "O (! BOTTOM DRAW]S ( H]
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KIT*5 FLOOR _H BE5 WAX$4 ,I OP5$ ! CABI-
NET "U ! S9K & F.D T %E'D PUT A FRE%
G>BAGE BAG 9 ! TRA% C4
  ,I DON'T "K :Y1 B X 0 AT T MO;T T ,I 0
C]TA9 T %E 0 D1D4 ,A SORT ( T]ROR SLID
OV] ME L A CL\D'S %AD[1 & SU45LY ,I 0
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CAB94 ,\TSIDE ! KIT*5 W9D[1 A C]TA9 TREE
LOOK$ L A HUMAN FIGURE1 /&+ "!4 ,! TREE
0 AT ! V $GE (! LI<T F ! KIT*51 &=A MO;T
X APPE>$ 6BE A WOMAN 9 A L;G ROBE--A
NI<TG[N1 MAYBE4 ,I LET \ A SMALL S.D &
FL$ ! H\SE Z QKLY Z ,I CD4

                                    #BJH
  ,"! >E "TS1 LOTS ( "TS1 :5 ,I ?9K T
MAYBE %E IS / ALIVE4 ,!Y N"E F.D H] C>1
OR H] CLO!S1 & H] BANK A3.T 0 NE>LY EMP-
TY4 ,I C PICTURE H]1 DRIV+ "? V>I\S L&-
SCAPES1 H] EYES /RAI<T AH1D1 H] DRIV+
SUNGLASSES REFLECT+ ! ROAD4 ,I SEE H]
LIV+ "U AN ASSUM$ "N1 9 ,NEW ,ORL1NS1 9
,F>GO1 ON A B1* 9 ,FLORIDA4 ,"S"TS1 :5 !
PH"O R+S AT AN ODD "T1 ,I H ! QUAV]+
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O!R 5D (! L9E1 ,I C'T KEEP F :ISP]+1
8''' ,MOM80 ,& YET1 ,I DON'T ?9K %E WD
CALL ME1 EV5 IF %E 7 ALIVE4
  ,"! >E "TS :5 ,I WD L 6TELL ? /ORY 6MY
"F4 ,:AT WD HE MAKE ( X1 ,I WOND]8 ,IS X
! /ORY (A WOMAN :O FELL \ ( LOVE ) H]
SON8 ,IS X ! /ORY (A WOMAN :O R1LIZ$ T
LOVE WASN'T T IMPORTANT1 AF ALL8 ,OR IS
X ! /ORY ( MY FAILURE--MY FAILURE 6FIG-
URE ?+S \1 MY FAILURE 69T]PRET1 MY FAIL-
URE 6NE$ H]8
  ,:AT C Y D )A WOMAN L T1 MY "F WD SAY1
& ,I WD RECALL H] WAD+ 9 ! LAKE "O "D1
AB A WEEK 2F ! ,MORRISONS 7 4COV]$1 KNEE
DEEP 9 ! CALM GRAY WAT]1 RUNN+ !    #BJI
TIPS ( H] F+]S ACR ! SURFACE (! LAKE1
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8,WAT]'S W>M60 %E CALL$ 6ME ON ! %ORE4
,& IF ,I WD H LIFT$ MY H1D F ! BOOK ,I 0
R1D+ ,I WD H SE5 H] EXPRES.N1 ,I WD H
SE5 :AT %E ?"\ Z %E LOOK$ AT H] SON--A
GR[N-UP MAN1 N[--,I WD H WAT*$ M C>E;LLY
Z %E WALK$ 96! LAKE1 DEEP] & DEEP]1 UN-
TIL J H] H1D 0 %[+4 ,I "K ! LAKE 0 GL[+
)! REFLEC;N (! SUND[N4 ,I "K %E 0 LOOK+
BACK AT ME4 ,I "K %E 0 ?9K+ "S?+4
  8,:Y D P D ANY?+80 MY "F WD ASK1 & HE
WD 4MISS E MO;T ,I ?"\ IMPORTANT4 ,HE WD
ASK ME IF !Y'D DRA7$ ! LAKE = H] BODY4
,& ,I WD TELL HM1 YES--( C\RSE4 ,!Y
TRAWL$ ALL AL;G ! L9E ( B1*1 B Z F> Z !Y
CD TELL1 %E WASN'T "! EI4







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